The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I am so glad she checked in! Peer pressure is such a hard force to withstand, I think it's getting harder with every generation. This captures well the struggle we face in life, to check in or check out. Well done.
I love that part about "you could hear a fly crash land." This was very well written, and I love how you ended it - not with a "reasoned out" decision but with one that tugs at the heart. Great job!
Nicely done. The conflict is realistic and the ending satisfies.
As a former high school teacher, I felt as if I KNEW those girls--I've had lots of students like them, and they seemed quite real to me.

One little writing critique--your first sentence uses 'questioned' (a past tense verb), but the rest of the piece is written in the present tense. That threw me off for a moment.

Nice job--I'd sure like to get to know this girl better; she's an interesting character.
Congratulations on your first place win!