The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 749 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/18/11
Your story brings tears of joy to my eyes.
03/21/11
lovely :-) such a person and beautiful story. I am glad God brought joy after the tears and i love the final part about your thoughts on the child in heaven.
This is a beautiful but so sad story. It was easy to feel the sorrow you were and still are experiencing.

A couple of tiny notes It's a D and C and when talking about Jamie-who is one person you should use he, she (or even it, but that wouldn't feel right) but not they. You want to match the pronoun with the noun. But those are just tiny things.

I used to be a maternity nurse and it didn't matter how many times I had faced that situation I needed to go in the looked room and cry for the parents. You did a good job making the reader understand to some degree that horrible pain.
Very moving. I would love to see you work with this story some more. Some parts read more like reporting but, for example, the last paragraph and the section imagining Jamie in heaven hit the mark beautifully as descriptive and revealing prose that connect very deeply with an audience.