Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Week(s) (02/10/11)
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TITLE: Patty's Passing | Previous Challenge Entry
By Rhonda Egging
02/17/11 -
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I watched my husband Greg’s face soften as he hung up the phone, “I know we were just down there, but I think I need to go again for Steve.”
Steve the oldest and Greg the youngest of five kids, raised by their single mom. She worked two jobs to try to support her family. Steve took on the role of parent while his mom worked, sometimes the protector and on occasion the abuser.
Steve and his Mom, Patricia depended on each other. For the last twenty years of Patricia’s life, she lived with Steve. She watched as two different marriages disintegrated. She helped raise his children and welcomed his grandchildren into their tight little nest.
The other four siblings seemed to understand that Steve and Patricia needed each other. One brother left home at fifteen and went on to start a lucrative business. Another brother spent a lot of time searching for jobs, talking to doctors and taking medications to calm his rage. The only girl became a Mormon and sought solace in her new extended family. My husband became a Christian and eventually a Pastor.
The last five years of Patricia’s life saw her lucid bitterness turn into foggy memories and contentment. Her dementia allowed her to forget whom she hated. She loved us all.
At our last large family gathering I sat, talked, and laughed with Patricia for the first time in my thirty-year marriage. One of my sister-in-laws asked, “Patty, don’t you know who you are talking to?”
I said, “oh no, don’t tell her who I am!”
Thursday morning Greg drove the six hours to Steve’s house. Steve lived there with his new wife, Linda and Mom. Steve and Linda had not slept since bringing Patricia home from the hospital on Tuesday. Greg told them he would take the night watch.
Being a Pastor, Greg had many conversations with his mother over the years and knew that she made peace with God. He felt assured of her place in heaven and now he prayed that Jesus would relieve her suffering and take her to be with him.
I woke up in the middle of the night and felt prompted to pray for Patricia. I prayed for Jesus to comfort her and be with all of them in that house far away. I went back to sleep and dreamed that I saw Patty walk into heaven.
Friday morning Greg called to say his Mom passed away during the night.
Who would think that dementia would bring such a blessing to our family? Patricia’s mind, finally able to be calm, she loved whoever appeared before her eyes. Greg didn’t know his Mom like Steve did. He didn’t feel the same sting seeing her take her final breath. His role as little brother shifted to that of comforter. Steve, always the big brother, conceded to the baby brother in this issue of letting their Mom go.
Steve’s grief, profound and final, he has no hope of ever seeing his best friend again. Greg and I are confident that Patty is in Jesus care. We know we will see her again and she will love us with the love of Christ. Our hope is that just as Patricia came to know Jesus at the end of her life so will Steve before we watch him take his last breath.
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