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Topic: Flowers (10/03/05)
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TITLE: A Flower From Mom | Previous Challenge Entry
By Diane Daugherty
10/07/05 -
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I laced up my sneakers and threw on my jacket to head outside. I had decided that this year I was going to take an extra health effort, so I had taken up running. I hated to run. I suppose it keeps people in shape, however, a person cannot see immediate results, so it seems like a waste of time. I stretched outside and began my trek into the neighborhood. I noticed that the gray clouds were beginning to shift to the west, and as I peered upward, I noticed some spots of blue through the gloom. As I continued on my run, I thought about the events that had happened the year before. As my mind wandered through many events, I could feel my emotions welling up. My Mom had died from a multitude of illnesses that had culminated in a week long hospital stay. My entire family had taken shifts by her side, and yet, she had waited for death, choosing a moment when she was alone. We had all left late one night, deciding to get a bite to eat. When my brother returned to complete his shift, he had been met by the night nurse.
This event completely demolished what had existed as my family unit. I had my own family now, but my Mom had been the one thing to keep my brothers and sisters connected. Now, she had been gone a little over a year, and our family hadn’t gathered once. About a year before my Mom had passed away, I had come to know the Lord for myself. She had scared us all by having a stroke. I remembered feeling the drive to talk to her about Jesus. I knew that she knew who He was, but I did not know if she had accepted Him into her heart and her life as her own Savior. I had to know. I felt so nervous about talking with her about the Lord. I don’t know why, but I got up the nerve, and I asked her if she would be ready to die if it happened. I found out that she had given it much thought, and had accepted the Lord. That talk drew me closer to my Mom. On the day I got the call that she had been taken home, I felt saddened, but somehow I knew that today she was with her Savior.
As I continued to run, I realized that I had been more affected by her loss than I had allowed myself to believe. I told others that I felt fine. That I knew where my Mom was, so I didn’t feel sad, but that was all a lie. Today, I admitted to myself that I was sad and hurt and surprisingly angry at God. He took my Mom away from me when I still needed her here. I felt the rush of tears as I rounded the corner back toward my house. By the time I reached my driveway I could barely breathe as the sobs wrenched out from my soul. It was then that I saw them… peeping up out of the snow… the hint of purple that could only be the crocus that I had planted in the fall. My Mom had loved the flowers of spring, so as a gift my husband had bought all kinds of bulbs in her memory. There they were, popping up all along the sidewalk. I felt a surge of peace, as I realized that God was with me today, and he was giving me the gift of my Mom’s presence in other ways. Her absence from my life was temporary. Just like the flowers return each spring by the grace of God, so will I see my Mom again one day in glory.
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