The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Once in a Blue Moon (01/06/11)
Just as the sun sank below the horizon, Janet drove her two favorite passengers, Lily and Kyler, down Highway 45. It had been a busy Saturday in town with Lily’s dance recital and Kyler’s friend’s birthday party. The three were glad to finally be heading home.

“Oh cool,” exclaimed Kyler, “Look at the moon!”

“Where, where,” Lily screamed as she searched the darkening sky. “Is it blue, oh please let it be blue!”

Janet laughed as she listened to her children. “Blue,” she asked. “When have you ever seen a blue moon?”

“Never,” Lily sighed as she rested her head on the seat. “I was just wishing.”

Not bothering to press the subject, Janet slowly drove up the drive and into the garage. The three drudged into the house and headed to the bedrooms to put their things away.

“How was your day?” Steve asked as he reached and gave Janet a quick kiss.

“Long,” Janet replied. “There were so many girls in the recital and I thought it would never end. You’re going next time, Mister”

“Oh,” Steve smirked, “yes, I suppose I could go next year. That is if she sticks with it that long.”

“Ok guys, its dinner, bath and then bed time,” Janet announced.

Dinner was quick and simple, sandwiches, cola and chips. Kyler was first in the shower. Janet then helped Lily with her bath, especially washing her long curly hair.

“Tomorrow is Sunday School,” she exclaimed. “You get to wear your new dress and shoes! You are going to be so beautiful.”

Lily screamed loudly with excitement, “I almost forgot about that! I have to hurry and go to sleep so I can wake up early and get ready for church.”

As Janet dried the curls she noticed Lily’s excitement soon turned to a look of concern. Not speaking a word, Janet watched closely and waited for her daughter to speak. Lily didn’t breathe a word.

“Ok, off to bed we go,” Janet urged as she put the hair dryer away.

Lily slowly walked out of the bathroom, down the hallway and into her bedroom. Pulling the covers back and adjusting the pillows, she climbed into bed and waited on her mom to say a night time prayer. Janet prayed with Lily and tucked her in for the night. They shared a kiss on the cheek and Janet headed for the door.

“Mom,” Lily spoke softly, “can you see the moon from my room?”

“I think we can,” Janet whispered as she walked to the window and opened the shade. “Yes, I can see the moon.”

“Is it blue?”

Janet chuckled and assured Lily the moon wasn’t blue. “Why would the moon be blue?”

“Because…, I just wanted it to be blue.” After a long pause Lily continued, “Do you think it will be blue by Sunday school time?”

By that time Janet was beginning to wonder what was behind the talk of the blue moon. She wondered if it had something to do with a cartoon or maybe one of Lily’s new books. She reluctantly asked, “Lily…, baby…, why do you want a blue moon?”

Lily slid farther down into the covers and attempted to hide her face. Janet sat silently as she waited for an answer. From somewhere underneath she heard a whimper and then a soft sniffle.

“Lily,” Janet sternly spoke. “What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this?”

She pulled the covers back just enough to see a tear soaked eye and her heart melted. Janet pulled Lily close to her chest and held her tightly.

“Baby, you have to tell mommy what is bothering you.”

“It’s because of what Nana said.”

“What did Nana say?”

“She said to that lady…”

“What lady?”

“Her friend…, she told her friend that my daddy only went to church when we had a blue moon and I’ve asked Jesus for a blue moon tonight so Daddy could go to church with me tomorrow.”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 744 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
diana kay
01/13/11
awwwww such a sweet story. so many good stories this week. I think the judges will have had a real hard job... this is one of my favourites. I do hope that the dad went t church, it is so sad when the family is divided over faith
Verna Mull
01/15/11
This was a perfect story for the topic. It was very interesting and very well written.
Lillian Rhoades 
01/16/11
I loved this! Your creative application nailed the topic. The dialogue flowed easily with just enough suspense to keep me wondering what was on Lily's mind. Great ending.
Michael Throne
01/18/11
This was fun. You kept our interest all the way through and made your point at the end (sadly). Well written.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/21/11
This is a really sweet story. Although some may not see it as a children's story, I think it would make a great children's picture book.

You might need to tighten it up a little by taking out the dialog about the recital. You also need to make sure you proof it a few times. There were a couple of spots where you forgot the punctuation. The last little bit of red ink is about the word okay; it's spelled out okay or both letters should be capitalized.

Other than those little things that can be fixed easily, you've done an excellent job. My heart hurt for the little girl and how much she wanted her Daddy to go to church with her. It's so common that adults say things they don't realize little ears hear so much. You did a great job in bringing a fresh message into the topic.

Congratulations for placing tenth in level one!