The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like the writing style and storyline here. The characters are really good, and the reader can easily connect with AJ and sympathize with her.

To make this awesome story even better, you might try revealing some of the back story through dialog. Maybe start out the story with AJ meeting her Grandmother at school and then showing through their conversation AJ's feelings about moving, her sister's ease in making friends, etc. Then we could spend more time in the cozy kitchen of Grandma's house as they work out AJ's problems together.

Great story! Keep up the good writing. :)
This was fun to read. My only complaint is you gave away the suspense you built with your title! Otherwise it was nicely done.
This was a cute story. However, I agree that the title gave away the suspense, but it was a cute title that made me read it. Go figure. :)
Really nice characterization!
Congratulations for placing in the top 10 of your level!