The Official Writing Challenge
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While the premise of your story is one that is a deep reminder for us all about Jesus' love, I found that you jumped from tense to tense. Even in the first sentence, it would seem you have present and past tense - "shines" and "rolled." Other than that I found this letter one of great compassion and appreciation. blessings...
Your words are full of passion, and your love is quite apparent.

The tense did change at times and I felt a tad confused but I can tell you poured your heart out in the writing of this.

Don't ever lose that passion and desire.
There's a lot of deep feeling here!

A few notes: if you've signed your own name to this letter, it may compromise the 'anonymous' aspect of the Writing Challenge. Best to choose a 'pen name' if it's going to appear on your entry. And the 'it was a dream' device is sometimes a let-down to readers. It's obvious that you've got a great imagination--I'll bet you can find other ways to resolve the conflict.

Thanks for this entry--you're a very intriguing writer.
This story has some lovely description in it and it definitely held my interest.

I agree with what has already been said, and just wanted to say that there was a lot of "telling" - "I felt this," etc. Rather than say that, use your wonderful creativity to show the reader how it felt.

Keep writing.
Your talent and your heart shine in your writing. Some beautiful and agonizing descriptions. I was confused by the middle part, with breakfast and the family, and don't see how it fits. Watch your tenses - reading your story out loud will help you catch those errors. I'm sure from what I read here that you'll grow as a writer, and I'm looking forward to following your progress!
I enjoyed this very much. Your passion truly shines through. One small suggestion would be to capitalize any pronouns refering to Jesus (God/The Holy Spirit). That helps keep the reader on track and always sets the Trinity apart. Great job.