The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Excellent descriptions and use of words. You captured the emotions wonderfully. However, it seemed the ending "snapped" too quickly in light of her turmoil. I loved your use of Dad's "have you been up there all this time"; an exceptional way to convey so much.
Such a good story! I feel that the handling of Hopie's worries was in the right measure at that time, and that in this family, more will come out at the appropriate time. It just had a good feeling about it, to me.
I loved this story. We have a son who came to us in this way. Very meaningful piece.
Aw, sweet stuff! If this is just your first shot at fiction, I say keep going ;-)
Very nicely done, especially for a first attempt at fiction.

And on a personal note, I have to thank you for not spelling it sherbeRt--one of my pet peeves!
A fun read. You have created believable characters with good tension and a good ending. Looking forward to your next entry.
Wow...this is your first attempt at fiction? Excellent job.