The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/12/09
Great work on the clarity and details. You did a solid job of defining your MC (I assume to be the author) by their surroundings.

A couple of suggestions for better readability:
Don't repeat your entry title and add spacing between paragraphs.

Great work! You made the room come alive through your exceptional descriptions. Keep on writing, I look forward to seeing more!
11/13/09
What a cool room! Love the imagery! Reminded me of the "Psychedelic" bedspread I had in the 1960's!
11/13/09
Very well-written, descriptive story; however, having double spaces between paragraphs is most important. It is much easier to read. If you copy and paste from a program, just scroll down and double space where the paragraphs should be. Also, it is distracting to have the title of the story repeated. I know several girls who would love your room! Good job! Laura