The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/25/09
A great tear jerker of a very short story. When you have the right thing to write about, it's quite entertaining. Every author's dream,right?
10/26/09
Well done! I love how the mood changed. It helps the reader if you leave an extra space between paragraphs. Keep it up!
10/28/09
Great content. Sentences could be made shorter to allow more ease in reading. But you captured some precious thoughts. Keep it up!
10/28/09
Good job--I agree with all the previous commenters.

Consider using all 750 words, so that you can develop the characters or the plot ever further.
10/31/09
I like this peice. Thanks for crafting it. I look forward to reading more of your writing.