In God's Hands | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: In God's Hands | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ellen Abragar
06/11/09
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Dear Mom,

I received some devastating news today.

Glenn came home and announced that he was laid off from his carpentry job.

His head supervisor explained that the company was forced to cut some of the new workers, like Glenn, in order to bring in journeymen who were being laid off from other job sites. And even though Glenn knows just as much as some journeymen and does more quality work, they had to let him go. It’s not personal; it’s business.

I never thought Glenn would utter those very words. I was speechless at first. I had no idea what to say and I didn’t want to make it worse by flipping out. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I tried hard to fight them back, but the more I tried the more I felt like hyperventilating.

“Breathe,” Glenn said gently.

Finally, when I managed to speak, I asked, “So what are we going to do?”

He took my hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “We’re going to be all right. I know we are.” Then he hugged me.

And just like that, he walked to the kitchen to fix himself a snack.

How can Glenn be so calm about this? We have three children to support. I am not working because we decided that since child care was too expensive, I would stay home with Gia. We are deep in debt. And worst of all, what about getting married next year? A two-year engagement is long enough.

I could no longer hold my tears back. I ran upstairs and locked myself in our bedroom. I sobbed and sobbed. I was terrified! How are we going to pay for things? Where is our money going to come from? We have nothing!

Suddenly, I felt angry. I punched my pillows like a mad woman. I wanted to rip them apart. I wanted to bang my fists against the wall. But instead, I yelled at the top of my lungs, “Why, God, why?” I threw my head back onto my pillows and closed my swollen eyes.

Then the strangest thing happened. After an absolute windless day, a strong gust blew through the window and knocked over all the papers sitting at my desk. Irritated, I walked over to gather the mess when a picture stuck to the back of a document caught my eye. I removed it from the paper and stared at it for a few minutes.

It was a picture of Glenn and me with the kids standing in the middle of our unconstructed living room.

Gosh, I can’t believe that it was just a year ago when Glenn started building the extension for us on top of his parents’ house. His parents insisted on it rather than going to look for our own place, especially since the real estate market in Hawaii was doing so poorly. The construction made living arrangements less than suitable, but the discomfort was well worth it.

A year later, Glenn and I have a master bedroom and bath. Angie and James have their own bedrooms as well. No longer are we cramped in one tiny room. And we have a living room where the kids can relax and Gia can walk all over the place.

I stared at the picture for another moment. Well, his parents aren’t making us pay rent. There is always food in the house. The kids have enough clothes to last them a lifetime. I’m sure that Glenn will collect unemployment so we can pay for the car. We could probably arrange something with our creditors. All it takes is a phone call. And Glenn and I are not big spenders.

Calmness suddenly fell over me. We have food, shelter, and clothing. Our living arrangements are more than optimal. And the kids are taken care of. What AM I so worried about? I finally realized what Glenn meant. I looked up into the sky through my window, and said, “Okay, God, I get it.” And I gave thanks to the Lord.

So, Mom, the initial intent of this letter was to ask for your help. But now, I am just writing to reassure you that everything is okay here. So don’t go catching the next plane to Hawaii! It just took me a little while to realize that God has already provided for us and will continue doing so. We are in God’s hands.

Your loving daughter,
Ellen

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