Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bitter and Sweet (05/28/09)
-
TITLE: Stymied | Previous Challenge Entry
By Beth B
06/02/09 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I don’t know where to go with this story. Ever been there? The bitter is that Cassandra recently lost her mother. What could be sweet about that? Hey, wait a minute; I thought my passion was writing for children. This isn’t a children’s story. But this beginning has remained with me for days. What will grasp you the reader? What will keep you intrigued to the end? News flash - the dreaded deadline! What if the words don’t come? Will it get finished? Lord, help!
Be creative. Hook them right away. Make sure you use dialogue. Show; don’t tell. The deadline is quickly approaching. Two ideas and I don’t know which one to select. Talk about double-minded.
It was a cold night. Cupping his hands, he rubbed them while sitting on the park bench. He never saw this day coming. He had been in foster care since a young child. He was shuffled from home to home. He had aged out of the system. Now what was he to do? He attempted to find work, but without a birth certificate he was unsuccessful. He needed proof that he was who he claimed to be. Who could he turn too?
This is redundant, but have you ever been there? You’re stuck. The words don’t flow. You have an idea, but the pieces don’t come together.You’re smiling, aren’t you? You can SO relate. You’ve been there. I’m glad I’m not the only one. Now if I’d just quit revising, revising, revising and send it!
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
In both starts, you use too many pronouns. She...she...she...he...he...
Cinch up some sentences and get to writing... :)