The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1216 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I know how it is to have, large fueding families. You captured this well and also the thoughts and atsmophere during such a time. Good contrast from the top to the bottom scenario. Nice job.
06/06/09
I like the way that your intense negatives are perfectly balanced by the strong positives in the second part
06/09/09
This was really well written, especially the contrast. But I would have liked to hear a bit more about the narrator's role in the first death, and in the family feuds. I felt the narrator was watching the children fight, but not a part of it or doing anything to resolve it.
06/09/09
Quite a contrast, eh? Wow! Good writing. This is probably why we are to make the most of every moment.
06/10/09
i like this and the two illustrations. I felt that I had heard quite enough of the first family! Maybe you could try and think of alternative titles for this peice as it is suggested not to use the theme in the title. I thought up 'Family fun.' (you mention this in the first.) or 'Does family always have to be like this?' or even 'different endings' lots of possibilities.
06/10/09
A very well written piece. Very interesting and challenging about the importance of good relationships. Well done - you will soon be moving up! Colin
06/10/09
After your portrayal of the first "bitter" death, I'm so glad you provided a positive contrast. Well written, with a lot of real emotion and truth!
06/10/09
Situations that bring out the best in us...and the worst. This is a very thought-provoking piece.
Mona
06/10/09
I always wonder who "they" were. :) I had to smile at the "we put the fun in dysfunction." :) Your story is very sad. The contrast between the two experiences is very good.
06/11/09
I couldn't help but think about my own family when we faced the loss of our mother four years ago. Your take on this subject is real and flows well. Thankfully, we are more like the friends family. I enjoyed the read.