The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a good story. Very dramatic and stirring.
Be careful of your grammar and punctuation. That comes with pratice, though. I really liked the MC's voice, I could almost hear her speak in a South American accent!
Your emotions come through very strongly. I enjoyed this piece.
Love Norms
02/15/09
an intense rollercoaster of emotions. Curiously, I was unable to work out the age of Kentra, whether she was, say, seven or older at, perhaps, thirteen - an enormous difference for a child in her understanding of the world and her ability to express herself. It would have helped me to visualise Kentra better had you included a few more clues to her own identity.