The Official Writing Challenge
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10/24/08
Good story. I love how kids seem to know no other question, but "Why?"
I am wondering how heavy that box was. With a turkey, and all the trimmings, plus dessert, how did Granny pick it up?
10/24/08
ps. Maybe if you show how Granny struggled with the box, then the mom had the kids help her with it. I don't know.
This is good though. I enjoyed it very much.
This story reflected the inquisitive mind of a 4-year-old perfectly. I thought that the way you ended this fit well with the entire story's theme. I'm so thankful for God's love.

Thank you for sharing! :)
10/25/08
I am glad that you showed the nature of giving during a time that is sometimes seen as receiving. I enjoyed the story. During some points I felt like the story was slightly disjointed, but simplifying can help with keeping the flow. You never want too much happening at the same time. It can become confusing. I am proud of your work, and I loved your opening paragraph about the crunching froot loops. Good Job and please keep writing!
10/26/08
I love this one! You hit the nail on the head....definitely an EXCELLENT story. Pshaw - yeah there's a little bit of editing to be done, but not enough to distract from the story. Amazing job, my friend! Keep up the good work!