The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 687 times
Member Comments
Good story. I love how kids seem to know no other question, but "Why?"
I am wondering how heavy that box was. With a turkey, and all the trimmings, plus dessert, how did Granny pick it up?
ps. Maybe if you show how Granny struggled with the box, then the mom had the kids help her with it. I don't know.
This is good though. I enjoyed it very much.
This story reflected the inquisitive mind of a 4-year-old perfectly. I thought that the way you ended this fit well with the entire story's theme. I'm so thankful for God's love.

Thank you for sharing! :)
I am glad that you showed the nature of giving during a time that is sometimes seen as receiving. I enjoyed the story. During some points I felt like the story was slightly disjointed, but simplifying can help with keeping the flow. You never want too much happening at the same time. It can become confusing. I am proud of your work, and I loved your opening paragraph about the crunching froot loops. Good Job and please keep writing!
I love this one! You hit the nail on the head....definitely an EXCELLENT story. Pshaw - yeah there's a little bit of editing to be done, but not enough to distract from the story. Amazing job, my friend! Keep up the good work!