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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Game of Life (09/11/08)
In the day I walk along by the waters edge only friend a shadow. I glance to my right I notice I am in the shade but I have a shadow. Life is bad sometimes even darker then we can expect. The shadow consumes me with the darkness but I wear my fake smile. I know my time in this game is up so I shall enjoy my time well I’m here. But with the fake smile I not care I shoot down people with my glare pshh like I even care. There not my kin not my brethren. As I see the light I see myself for who I am I am a shadow in the presence of righteous people something that is forgotten. I know I will not succeed in this life. The game is almost over unless I can get another chance or a rematch against this opponent. My prayer is heard I enter back into the great division that is known as life I come back rejoicing as I know I got a rematch and this time I wont cheat.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
09/18/08
I can feel the conflict in this person. Would love to hear more - maybe expand a bit next time.
Melanie Kerr 
09/19/08
It was short but you seemed to pack in a lot of observation and emotion. You need to make consistent use of periods, or full stops, at the end of some of your sentences.