The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 625 times
Member Comments
Cute story. It will help the reader if you put an extra space between paragraphs. Using some dialogue might help the characters seem more alive, also. This story has a good thought. Keep writing.
Use extra spaces between paragraphs and watch the sentence structures more closely, like:

[She had been playing with Ron all morning, he was one of the children who lived across the road from us but was more often in this house than in his own.]

I would have made that two different sentences.

You tell a story quite well.

May God bless.

Dan Blankenship