The Official Writing Challenge
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The title is excellent for the piece. I had bit of difficulty in the beginning with the him/her/she/me/he. I had to read a good third of the piece before I had a good grasp of who was who. I especially liked the phrase near the end "brings rain to a desert that I did not know I walked in." That imagery brought the relationship alive for me.
Excellent imagery. I agree that many of the details became blurred by the pronoun usage. Excellent transfer of the writer's emotions throughout. :)
I actually wrote it that way on purpose. The blur was intentional, to feel the pain of the blur of emotions that happened when she came into my world. You know that feeling, of "he said, she said, he said," confusion of a painful time of life." The argumentative time, in a relationship. Maybe I overdid it. I wanted to paint a picture. I wanted you the reader to feel the crystalization as the image became clear. So I have accomplished what I set out?
Still learning.
I,too, had trouble with the pronouns, but I think I figured it out.
It was a bit sad to me.
Keep writing.