The Official Writing Challenge
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Bessie is a darling character! I loved her words to her dad, asking if her mom would have to get sick before the outlaws could be "in-laws" This was great, with touches of real life inside.

Just a tip, add some extra spaces in the submission box for easier reading.


This. See? Nice job! ^_^
Lovely article. It brings to mind the expression "Out of the mouths of babes". The young lady showed great insight and was quite likeable. Your story flowed nicely and the characters were shown realistically. I enjoyed reading this. My only critique is that, for easier reading, I would space out my paragraphs a little. None the less, nicely done.
I enjoyed the story. It's amazing, and perhaps scary, how much children can pick up on without parents even realizing it. Fortunately the Dad was wise enough to pick up on some things himself! Nice work.
Nice job on the topic. One idea - it helps the reader if you put your character's thoughts in italics, i.e.Tom thought, "I need to let Bessie's parents..." Good writing. :)
Oops, sorry. I meant Julie's parents, not Bessie's parents. :)
Congratulations, Tim, on placing thirteenth in your level with this piece. Great job!