Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)
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TITLE: Oh Deer! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joshua Janoski
04/29/08 -
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Cue the Hollywood Hearsay theme music and introduction video…
“Good evening, I’m Corey Feldman, and this is Hollywood Hearsay. We have a ton of big news straight from Sunset Boulevard, but first a story that has shocked the world. Remember seeing the animated classic Bambi as a child? Remember the emotions you felt when you first found out that Bambi’s mother had been killed? Well last week Bambi was spotted at a press conference promoting his upcoming movie “Freddy Krueger vs. Bambi.” As if that news was not enough to get everyone in Tinseltown excited, Bambi decided to make another huge announcement…
“I have to come clean. This secret has been eating at my venison for years now. I want you all to know that my mother… isn’t dead.”
GAAAASSSSPPPPP!!!!
“The crowd of reporters was shocked to hear the big news, and unfortunately, Bambi refused to field any additional questions from the press. However, we have an exclusive treat for you, our nosy viewers. With us now via satellite, straight from his vacation home in Aspen, Colorado, is Bambi the deer. Bambi, thank you for taking the time to speak with us.”
“No problem Corey.”
“So tell me, why exactly did you decide to reveal the secret about your mother?”
“I was tired of livin’ a lie Corey. Everyday, my mailbox was full of sympathy cards from people all around the world. People who I didn’t even know, giving me their condolences because of what they thought happened to Ma. At first, I liked the attention, but after a while, it started bothering me. I realized that my fame should come from my acting ability and not from some tragic event that people thought took place. Thumper is the alcoholic, if anyone needs sympathy support it’s him, not me.
“Thumper is what?”
“Hey! Is this interview about me or that sloshed fur ball?”
“Sorry Bambi. Getting back to your mother, what did she think about you letting this news out?”
“Why don’t you ask her yourself? She flew in from Wyoming to visit me. Say hi Ma.”
“Well, hello there Mr. Feldman.”
“Bambi’s mother! Wow! You really are alive!”
“Please call me by my real name, Doereen Fawndoo. And yes, I am definitely alive and well.”
“I must say both you and your son age very well. I am surprised that you both haven’t died of old age by now.”
“Bambi and I have invested millions into plastic surgery and science, so we will be around and looking good for a long time.”
“Very nice. Here’s hoping that you didn’t use the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson. Have you seen that guy’s nose? It has fallen off a couple of times! But getting back to your story, how did you end up dead in the first place?”
“I can answer this one, Corey. You see, this business has always been about creating drama. People don’t want to go to the theater and watch some deer lapping water from a river. They want to feel touched, moved, excited, sad, and all kinds of other emotions. The fictional tale that you are familiar with was created to sell tickets to a show, not to accurately portray my life. Ma didn’t die, Thumper isn’t my friend, and Flower really does stink. He’s a skunk for Pete’s sake! The only flower he smells like is a stinkweed!”
“And Walt Disney didn’t consult you while making the film?”
“Not at all. I had a meeting with him, but he refused to let me do any voice over work. He said my voice was too gruff. I had sold the rights to my story to some Austrian guy years earlier, and by the time it got into Walt’s hands, I had no say in anything being done. I gave up and pursued an acting career on my own. I got parts in several movies such as “Attack of the Mutant Deer” and “Killer Deer From Outer Space.” Those films helped me pay the bills for a short time.”
“And how about your father? Mrs. Fawndoo, is Bambi’s dad still alive?”
“No Corey, my husband Buck died some years back.”
“Was he shot by a hunter?”
“No, he got nailed by a Ford F-150 pickup truck.”
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I liked the part about not aging and all the plastic surgery. It's a good example of sarcasm about the Hollywood industry.
Well done. **THIS SPARKLES**
This had me chuckling throughout. Nice take on the topic.
I laughed out loud right here: “Hey! Is this interview about me or that sloshed fur ball?”
Hilarious!
What a way to step outside the box and remain on topic. Your creativity and talent shines. Keep it up.
I enjoyed how you set the scene and bent the chracters at first, but then I felt a Disney spell coming on and I didn't know vertigo from there.
But seriously, well done.