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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Grandparent(s) (04/03/08)
The Locket

I awoke from the nightmare drenched in sweat. Memories echoed through my mind: the fight with my grandmother, the angry words, and then the call that had come later that day. “Your grandmother had a heart attack, I’m so sorry” the doctor had said. I slammed my hands against the side of my head to drown out the words from the past. Stumbling into the bathroom, I turned the cold water on full blast and lowered my face into the icy stream. When my face was sufficiently numb I dried it off and looked in the mirror. Dark circles shadowed my red-rimmed eyes, but it was the shiny gold oval around my neck that drew my attention. It was the gold locket from my grandmother. I knew the engraved words by heart, but still, my hand went up to open the clasp.

I love you Beth
And one day you’ll see
Jesus loves you just like me

Beside the words was a picture taken just a year ago at my college graduation. She was standing next to me smiling proudly as I posed with my degree. Guilt rose up in me like a tidal wave and I fell to my knees sobbing violently. The memory of that day came flooding back, forcing its way into my thoughts.

“I asked the church to pray for you because I love you.” My grandmother’s last words rang so clear in my mind it was almost as if she were standing beside me. “I’m sick to death of you telling all your church friends about me.” “Just stay out of my business!” I had screamed. I knew what came next. It was engraved in my memory like the words on the locket. How I turned away from my grandma’s tear filled eyes. How I brushed away her outstretched hand. How I slammed the door in her face to emphasize my anger. It was the last time I saw her alive. I wished for the hundredth time that I could take it all back. How could I have said those things to the only person who ever loved me? My grandmother had raised me when my own mother didn’t want to. She had loved me and made sure I had the finest education. She had only wanted one thing in return…my salvation. I knew my grandma was wrong about Jesus. How could he love me when I had caused my own grandmother to have a heart attack? A scream of frustration tore from my throat and I lashed out wildly with my hands, knocking everything in my reach to the floor. Glass bottles shattered and green shampoo leaked across the floor like a colorful stream. I looked around at the mess with a certain satisfaction. It was a proper picture of the state of my life. A loud knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. I opened the door to find my elderly neighbor Mrs. Harris. Her eyes widened ever so slightly at my appearance, but she quickly gave me a warm smile. “Are you alright dearie?” She hesitantly asked. “I heard a loud crash.” “Everything’s fine Mrs. Harris” I replied. “I just had a little accident and...” “You know dearie” Mrs. Harris interrupted. “If you ever need someone to talk to we’re here for you.” “That’s very kind of you Mrs. Harris but…” I stopped in confusion. “We?” I said. “Why yes of course.” She replied with a smile. “Me and the Lord.” “Oh…right.” I replied softly. “I really don’t think the Lord wants to talk to me at all.” Tears pooled in my eyes and I lowered my gaze to the floor. “You know dearie, it’s not the lord that has trouble forgiving…sometimes it’s us who have trouble forgiving ourselves.” Stunned I looked back up at Mrs. Harris. She was already moving away from the door. “Come for dinner if you want dearie” she called. “I could use the company now that my dear husband is gone.” I stared at the place where she had stood for a long time. An unfamiliar emotion moved through me and I recognized it for what it was…hope. I looked up at the sky as I reached for my locket. Wrapping my fingers around it I gave it a squeeze. Then I closed my door and reached for the phone. I dialed the number and it rang once before it was picked up. “Mrs. Harris” I said. “What time should I come for dinner?”
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This article has been read 849 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Holly Westefeld
04/10/08
This is a hard way to learn of someone's value. I'm so glad she has Mrs. Harris.
Donna Powers
04/11/08
A very nice story although and her difficult situation was nicely written. I suggest that you separate your paragraphs so that your story will be easier to read. Nice job!
Marita Vandertogt
04/11/08
Very nicely written. The intense emotions of your MC come through really well, right up to the hopeful ending. Good job.
Debbie Wistrom
04/11/08
Your description drew me into that bathroom, great writing, keep it up.
Joshua Janoski
04/12/08
A somewhat sad story with a hopeful ending. You did a fine job with this one. I'm glad that the situation helped Beth to take a step towards God.

Thank you for sharing this. Keep on writing.
Dee Yoder
04/12/08
Touching story that brings out the value of a praying grandmother. Forgiving ourselves is often harder than forgiving others, especially when we've caused pain to those who love us. The hope offered to the MC at then end is uplifting.
Lyn Churchyard
04/13/08
You did a good job with the description of the MC's emotions - they were very real.

A couple of missed commas, but that's easily fixed.

I really enjoyed this story. God has definitely given you a gift.
dub W
04/14/08
This is well written emotions. I think you have the heart of a storyteller; however, when you have a chance, pick up a dialogue book and study the placement and paragraphing of dialogue. This essay has great potential.