The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Your rythm is a little "off" in places, but I LOVE this title and the entire concept! It really hits home. Thank you.
06/08/05
The message you're sending is excellent. I agree, however, that the structure was a little off and it didn't flow as smoothly as it could have.
Thanks for sharing your poetry. Keep writing!
Blessings, Lynda
06/09/05
I think if you divided this into clear stanzas that the pacing would clear up, or at least you could put it together that way. Thanks for your offering.
The poetry of the title atracted me to your poem. I love the concept of the poem!
06/10/05
Very good ideas here, but the rhythm could use a bit of work. (the format was a bit off, with one word on some lines)
07/19/05
Wow! how did I miss that? That was nicely written. Thank you for the critique. For now, I keep anonimity. But I thank you! God bless ya, littlelight