The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/08/08
HI: Great story, keep up the good work. - there are a few mistakes - I know its hard to find someone to proof read for such a short time spand.
Maybe Use your spell check.

You might think to expand a little on your thoughts - using more of the word count. You have tremendous ability here - keep writing. Look forward to reading more stories from your pen.
03/10/08
You've definitely got the right idea. Please tell us more about Phil--give us an actual incident or two, and a few other characters for him to interact with!

An easy fix--put one space after each comma and each period. It'll be easier for us to read that way.

Keep writing--your life lessons were very valuable.
03/10/08
I can tell that you have been learning these lessons.
I would like more examples. Tell a little story. You are given a 750 word limit.
Good thoughts. Keep writing.
Thank you for sharing... keep learning and keep writing!