Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)
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TITLE: A Second Chance | Previous Challenge Entry
By Mary Lisa
02/21/08 -
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There had been an awful argument between her parents that day, worse than usual, and he walked out without even saying goodbye. Susan secretly spent years wondering what she had done to cause her father to leave. He hadn’t even tried to contact her as she grew from a child into a woman. For years she thought, “Only a terrible child could lose a father this way.” She wished she had been a better girl. If only she had listened to him and obeyed without complaining when he told her to eat those peas on her plate or take her bath or go to bed. Maybe, just maybe, he would have stayed.
A month ago, he tried to call but she let the phone ring and didn’t return his message. She received a letter from him only last week. He said he hoped to see her. He wanted to make amends for the past. He told her that he was sorry, that he had always missed her, and that he would like to know her as a young woman. He added that he was very successful and enjoyed a good life that he hoped to share with her.
She checked out his address and found it was a huge estate about 150 miles south. He had never remarried. She contemplated what it would be like to get to know him. She only had one father, after all, and she had missed so much with him. So many times she had longed for him to call. Now, her wishes were a reality. He wanted to see her. Did she want to see him? She wasn’t sure.
At this point in her life, she had a new career and considered that she may have outgrown the need for a father. He promised her the world if only he could have a second chance. He was reaching out to her. Certainly, he could make her life better, if not emotionally, at least financially. Should she try it, she asked herself?
He told her he had been present at her school programs and graduations from high school and college. He even described what she was wearing. Still, he should have let her know he was there. It would have made all the difference. She would have known he cared.
As she contemplated what to do, her decision came fast. No, she would not give this man a second chance. He had hurt her before and he might very well do it again. They had been apart too many years. She had grown up without him and she could live without him.
She wrote a letter stating that there was nothing he could offer that she wanted. It made her sad to say these things but it had to be done. She had to protect herself. Whatever his reason for leaving, she couldn’t risk his rejection again. She mailed the letter thinking it was over. Still, he invaded her thoughts.
Over the weekend, she stopped by to see her mother and stepfather. They had always been there for her. However, she had to admit to herself that even a good stepfather couldn’t replace a father, the father her heart longed to know. She explained to her mother what was happening. Her mother said, “If your father wants to see you, go to him. He and I couldn’t make it work but he left me, not you.” She added, “Getting to know him will help you both heal.”
Because her mother had never steered her wrong, she acted on her advice. She nervously called her father that day and, after a few tearful moments, they set up a reunion. Just hearing his voice was indescribably gratifying. All the pain melted into the background as she danced around the room. They were going to know each other after all. She felt complete. It was a feeling she hadn’t experienced since she was six years old and he left. She could hardly wait to see him. They would both get a second chance.
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This might be even more engaging if you eliminated some of the narration of her life, and added more personal details: feelings, surroundings, dialogue.
So glad that there are, indeed, second chances!
Laury
Touching
"Just hearing his voice
was indescribably gratifying. All the pain melted into the background as she danced around the room"
"She could hardly wait to see him. They would both get a second chance."
very nice end!
Like to read More from you. : )
I too, Learn from all your Comments. Thank you.
Thanks for the tip Jan, I will keep these things in mind when I write a story.
Enjoy and Keep in the Writing Lane.
God bless, Helen