The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh, how sad! I hope there's a "rest of the story" when he gets his family back!
Great commentary on modern motivations. Loved the last lines - such truth! :)
Very good lesson here. Good, good writing! Keep up the great work!
You made the list for the Beginner Blessings this week! Congratulations! Here is the link:
I enjoyed your imagery a lot, good writing! ~
I really liked the last line.

Too often we seek out our own desires instead of Gods and then wonder why everything seems to fall apart.

Good lesson taught here.
This is my favorite so far. You did a good job of setting the scene, and the thunderous conversation was incredibly effective for me. Great story; I look forward to more from you.