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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)
Jasan looked out over the Lake. It was beautiful. The sky was crystal blue, tall green pine trees lined the edge of the deep blue waters and continued all the way up into the majestic mountains. The air was crisp and fresh. It was all that he dreamed of since he came here as a child; to own a piece of this and look upon its beauty everyday.

“If only it hadn’t cost so much,” he said out loud to himself. Jasan shook his head. He finally achieved his dream, but in the process, he lost so much more.

Jasan sat down on the boulder that touched the rippling water. From where he sat, he could hear the splashing water that came from the stream that ran past the log home he built with his own two hands.

“Will I ever get my wife and children back?” He asked. He continued to talk out loud even though there was no one there to listen. Or, so he thought.

Jasan placed his head in his hands and he wept. Loneliness, sorrow, and utter helplessness overtook him. How could this be happening? Why did she leave me? How will I survive without them? These were just a few of the questions that ran through his sobbing mind. When he had emptied himself of all of his pain, he found himself filled with anger and rage. Jasan jumped up on the boulder and raised his fist to the sky.

“Why God? I knew what I wanted and I worked hard to get it. I climbed the ladder of success—I spent long hours—sleepless nights—the American dream. You’re suppose to be a just and loving God, why did you take my family away from me?”

A sudden clap of thunder startled Jasan. In the clear sky above, he saw images of his life flash before him. Image after image revealed the life decisions he had made up to now. Jasan saw something different as he looked through the eyes of his own brokenness. What he saw surprised him. The decision he made “for the good of the family,” now looked like selfishness. The decision he made to “better provide for his family” looked more like greed. The many nights of working late and missed Saturday baseball games to “bring in a little extra” looked more like abandonment. The images revealed even more sin like pride, lust and gluttony.

“You see, Jasan,” a loud thunderous voice interrupted, “you followed your dream, not Mine. Yours came with a price, Mine was a free gift.”
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This article has been read 865 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/01/08
Oh, how sad! I hope there's a "rest of the story" when he gets his family back!
Marlene Austin
02/01/08
Great commentary on modern motivations. Loved the last lines - such truth! :)
Laury Hubrich 
02/02/08
Very good lesson here. Good, good writing! Keep up the great work!
Laury
Laury Hubrich 
02/05/08
You made the list for the Beginner Blessings this week! Congratulations! Here is the link: http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17610
Mary Barrow Little
02/06/08
I enjoyed your imagery a lot, good writing! ~
Joshua Janoski
02/07/08
I really liked the last line.

Too often we seek out our own desires instead of Gods and then wonder why everything seems to fall apart.

Good lesson taught here.
Cheryl Martin
02/09/08
This is my favorite so far. You did a good job of setting the scene, and the thunderous conversation was incredibly effective for me. Great story; I look forward to more from you.