Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: birthday (05/23/05)
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TITLE: Two Birthdays | Previous Challenge Entry
By Fides Caingcoy
05/25/05 -
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I remember when I first told Daddy we were having a baby, that puzzled look on his face when I handed him the test strip with those unmistakable two solid lines. Oh, you should have seen how his eyes lit up and grew wide with excitement as he grabbed me, spun me in his arms, and kissed me! We stood there holding each other for what seemed like, oh, forever! He didn’t have to say a word, neither did I. We had been wanting a child. We had been wanting YOU.
I remember the nights I had such terrible cravings for warm nacho cheese and cold vanilla ice cream. Without a moment’s hesitation, Daddy would put on his coat and drive to the store. When he came back, he would share my vanilla ice cream, but not the cheese. It makes me laugh now that I think of it.
I remember the mornings I would wake up only to find myself dashing madly for the bathroom. Could it have been the food I ate the night before? Personally, I blamed those enormous prenatal pills. They were HUGE! Still, I took them because I wanted the best for you. I wanted you to be as healthy as possible.
I remember Daddy and I praying for you everyday. We prayed for your safety in my womb. We prayed that He would show us how to raise you, teach you, and most importantly love you. We prayed that you would grow deeply in love with Jesus each day of your life. When we were done praying, Daddy would lean over and kiss my belly and in his deepest voice say “I love you!”
I remember going to the baby store with Daddy and picking out what we needed for you. I remember picking out the very first outfit I bought for you. I have never shopped for newborn clothes before and it looked so small it took my breath away as I pictured you in it. I pictured you looking up at me with a smile, so full of life. I never pictured you….oh, I never, never pictured…I never thought—
I heard you cry when they pulled you out of my womb. I HEARD YOU! You sounded so strong. I saw you blink your eyes and look at me when they brought you close to me. I SAW YOUR EYES! I SAW THEM! I should have held you. I was drowsy and fell asleep, but I should have stayed awake. I am so sorry. I should have stayed awake. I should have been there for you. Please forgive me. We could have had eight hours together, you and I. Now, eight hours is more that I could ever hope for…
I wish with all my heart that I could hear your voice and see your beautiful brown eyes staring at me once again, but I know that is not possible. I will never forget the sound of your cry or the look in your eyes. They are forever etched in my heart. I will not forget you. I will make sure that your little brothers and sisters know they have a big brother in heaven. We will always celebrate this day…not the day you died…but as Daddy told me earlier, the day you had two birthdays—a birthday here on earth and a birthday up in heaven.
So I am not going to say goodbye to you, but Happy Birthday! I will see you again. I promise.
You will always be my baby, my forever baby. I love you!
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