Green Grass or Not? | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Green Grass or Not? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kitt Swanson
01/27/08
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The workday had been long. I arrived home at 6 o’clock in the evening. After putting my frozen dinner into the microwave, I walked into the living room and turned on the television. A bright red banner flashed across the screen with the words, “Preacher Dead.” The preacher’s picture appeared. I put my hand over my mouth and screamed, “No!” It was my preacher. I quickly picked up the phone and began calling other members of the congregation. Each of their phones was busy. In anger, I slammed down the phone receiver. I started crying. Then I redirected my attention to breaking news on television. I turned up the volume. The story continued that his wife shot him in the back several times. The preacher was a young man who spoke eloquently and taught bible classes with conviction. I gazed at the picture of his wife and recalled how he and his wife exhibited so much love for each other. I never saw them unhappy. They laughed and played like other couples. I was a little jealous of their relationship; I wished I had a marriage like theirs. They were my role models.
Years passed and the congregation hired another preacher. The congregation forgave his wife. After many jury trials, she went to jail. And, although many members visited her, she kept silent. They tried to pry why she did what she did. She kept it a secret. Many that visited her talked about how she didn’t seem remorseful. Finally the members of the church stopped visiting her.
With much therapy, I was healed of my depression. I settled down with a handsome young preacher who was charming and loving. We met at a fourth of July celebration. When he spoke of Christ, it was if Jesus stood right there. He was so good at explaining the scriptures. He always gave his undivided attention to those in need. The congregation hired him as its youth minister. All the teenagers thought he was hip. They would call him all times of the night for advice. He was doing a good work for the Lord. And, the children needed a good role model too. I knew he would be a great father someday. I couldn’t wait to be a mom. I spoke with him on several occasions about starting a family. He would say that this is not a good time because so many people needed him. I understood that; although he didn’t understand that I needed him too.
Little by little, our marriage took a turn for the worst. He started coming home at 2 o’clock in the morning. Sometimes he wouldn’t come home at all. When he did, I’d ask him where he had been. He would walked passed me and get into bed. I continued to pray for him. One night I woke up thinking he was in bed but realized he was in the living room. I went into the living room and found him with a young woman, acting inappropriately. I confronted him. He slapped me. After that he grabbed me and choked me tightly enough that I gulped for air. He told me never to speak a word of this to no one and, if I did, that he would kill me. Thus, I kept my mouth shut for many years. When at church, I pretended that he was someone else so I that my smile would be genuine.
My husband went out of town on business. I took that opportunity to visit my church sister who was in jail. After listening to my story and after a long period of silence she whispered, “The grass is not always greener on the other side is it?” I knew all too well what she was saying.
I remembered the scripture saying, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Prov 3:5-6 (KJV). I had put my trust in one I thought was a man of God. I realized that God is the only one I needed to trust. I looked over the fence of life and I wanted what she had…sadly…I got it.

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