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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)
Two thousand years ago a scene took place
So gruesome must have been this awful sight
So gruesome to some they just hid their face
I wondered why at noon, day became night

The Sun could not stand the glare from the blood
So using clouds, on the earth shut his door
Said, Father, please now the earth won’t you flood?
For they are killing the son you adore

The Father said, Hush it’s part of my plan
The bridge between man and Me, I now mend
The time has now come I must make a stand
Just know it’s planned from beginning to end

Long time ago men wrote down in a book
Wrote down His life from His birth to His death
In black and white all may now take a look
The words were carried to earth in My Breath

I sent down my Son and knew He would die
The sacrifice for their sins I did give
To prove now My Love and prove I don’t lie
With this sacrifice their sins I forgive

Sun, listen up, they’re My Children you see
Yes for all their sins His blood will suffice
I want My Children this now to believe
Salvation was paid by the blood of Christ
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Laury Hubrich
02/02/08
This is a very descriptive little poem. I especially liked this stanza:

"The Sun could not stand the glare from the blood
So using clouds, on the earth shut his door
Said, Father, please now the earth won’t you flood?
For they are killing the son you adore"

Very nice writing!
Laury
Michelle Roufley
02/02/08
Vivid imagery of His sacrifice.
Jan Ackerson
02/02/08
A fine poem for the upcoming Easter season.

Not sure how it fits with this week's proverb, but it's a very moving poem nevertheless.
Karen Wilber
02/05/08
I also like the stanza about the Sun talking to God about his son. An unexpected image that made me think about all creation crying out.

Keep writing!
Joshua Janoski
02/05/08
I didn't understand how this fit in with the week's topic. However, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's a joy to read things that remind me of the sacrifice that Christ made for me. Very nice poem!
Dee Yoder
02/06/08
Touching poem, and would be a good one to use at Easter.
Benjamin Graber
02/07/08
"The Sun could not stand the glare from the blood
So using clouds, on the earth shut his door"

Wonderful imagery! This is excellent!
I would suggest that you work at adding more punctuation, which makes a poem easier to read. Please feel free to contact me if you would like some suggestions!
Keep up the good work! You did a great job with this!
Blessings,
Ben