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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)
If Only…

He answered the phone, “sure, I will be right there, no problem. No, I do not have any other commitments”. Katherine ran from the room, tears blinding her eyes. It was her birthday and yet once again Dave’s plans with her would be set aside to keep someone else happy. Dave rarely spent time with her. The list of important things he had to do went on and on and on. It seemed his commitments to his wife, were way down on the ‘to do’ list he had for each day.

Dave felt impatient as he heard Katherine sobbing in the other room. What was wrong with his wife anyway? She would just have to get used to the fact that he was a busy man and sometimes sacrifices had to be made. They could celebrate her birthday another day. What was the big deal?

Dave had swept into Katherine’s life at a time when she was content with her singleness. Then suddenly there he was with promises of love and commitment. Her heart had been broken before and she was cautious as she presented it to him. However, Dave had reassured her that he would love and care for her always. Eventually she had entrusted her heart to him.

Dave was retired and had talked her into quitting her job after they were married, promising her they would travel and spend time together. He had said he wanted her to enjoy retirement with him. However, she soon discovered that Dave would not spend time with her unless he had absolutely nothing else to do. He completely controlled the money, making her accountable to him for every penny she spent. Often he would ignore her for days on end as if she did not exist. He would go out and about leaving her stranded at home without a vehicle. He expected the house to be kept clean and was quick to point out when things were not done the way he felt they should be. When she told him she felt unloved, he would tell her to stop being so self centered and would ignore her tears. She had never been so lonely. It was strange being together and yet alone.

When they were dating, he had made time with her a priority and they had such fun together. They had laughed and played together as they had fallen in love. Then they had married in a simple quiet ceremony. However, it became apparent to her shortly after their honeymoon, that things were not as they had seemed. He turned from pursuing her to pursuing only his own interests. There was no gentle love…no reassurance…no compassion when the tears came, and eventually her spirit was crushed. It was all she could do to get out of bed in the morning and put one foot in front of the other and tears flowed daily. Depression and hopelessness fell over her spirit like a dark cloak. This emotional isolation could not be part of God’s plan for her life.

Dave looked through the house, opening one door after another. “Katherine”, he called with no answer. He continued to call her name as he went through one room after the other. Finally he came to their bedroom and opened the door. Katherine was not there as she often was. It seemed lately she was always lying in bed with the covers pulled up around her. She had gained weight and seemed to be sick or crying all the time. He opened the closet door to hang up his suit jacket and it was then he noticed her side of the closet was empty. Surprise mingled with disbelief gripped his heart as he began to look around the room. All Katherine’s things were gone and there was an envelope lying on his pillow.

As he read the letter, an icy chill ran through him. He ran his fingers through his hair, disbelief coursing through his veins. He had been feeling convicted lately. He knew that he did not love his wife, the way God would want him to. Guilt had been gnawing at him, but he had managed to repress it and continue on with his own life quite nicely, until now. Dave suddenly began wishing he had taken better care of her. He knew he had been emotionally neglecting her. If only he had loved her as he should have…

If only…
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
01/10/08
Oh, how sad, and so true very often.

A few suggestions: since this is such a common occurrance, you might want to find a way to "twist" it so that it's not predictable. You swtiched POV from the wife to the husband a few times; be careful, in such short fiction, to stick to one person.

Your title adds poignancy to this tragic tale. Well done.
Jan Ackerson
01/10/08
Oh, how sad, and so true very often.

A few suggestions: since this is such a common occurrance, you might want to find a way to "twist" it so that it's not predictable. You swtiched POV from the wife to the husband a few times; be careful, in such short fiction, to stick to one person.

Your title adds poignancy to this tragic tale. Well done.
Yvonne Blake 
01/15/08
So Sad!
Yes, marriage is a constant giving and showing love.
The ending is very strong.
Good job...keep writing.