Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)
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TITLE: Burned | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dusti (Bramlage) Zarse
01/10/08 -
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“Don’t what?” But the look that crossed Regan’s gentle face said she already knew. With a concerned sigh, she flicked her gaze out the glass doors to the white sands beyond.
“Look at me like that.”
Regan glanced at the bottle of sunscreen perched on the hotel table and then frowned at the aloe lotion in her hands. “I don’t know, Tess. This burn is really bad. You may need to see a doctor.”
Tessa closed her eyes and lay her head back against the pillow, wincing at the fire in her back, the fire that raged just from the slight contact of skin against bed sheets.
You should have used sunscreen.
The words never left Regan’s mouth, but Tessa knew they were there, poised and ready, bitten back only out of sisterly kindness.
“I should have done a lot of things,” Tessa whispered.
A solitary tear forged a lone path done her blistering cheek as she thought back over the last seven months. She could still hear Regan’s voice loud and clear.
“He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
At the time, the concern in her sister’s eyes had made Tessa laugh. “They’re just flower’s, Regan!”
Beautiful flowers. Tessa’s favorite. How had he known?
Two weeks later, Regan was still giving the same soft warning. “He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
Tessa had pursed her lips with an annoyed glare. “It’s just dinner, Regan. Not even a date. Relax, would you?”
And it hadn’t been a date. Burgers. Fries. A crowded diner on the corner of 5th and Anderson. But the way he had looked at her—
“He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
Tessa glanced up from the tickets to see Regan’s concerned scowl. She patted Regan’s cheek like a mother humoring a child. “They’re just show tickets. We both like Broadway, okay?”
It had been a magical night. Fancy dresses. Tuxedos. A stolen kiss during intermission.
“He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
“Would you chill?” Tessa wanted to throw something. “It’s just a harmless date alright? It’s not like I’m going to marry the guy!”
At every new twist of events, Regan hadn’t let up, despite Tessa’s growing irritation.
“He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
“You’re blowing this way out of proportion. We’re going to a concert. Nothing more.”
“He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
“It’s only dinner.”
“He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
“We’re just going to his place to watch movies.”
“He’s not a Christian, Tess.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
She hadn’t wanted to hear it, and yet, now, as more tears slid away from her eyes, she couldn’t stop the broken record in her head. He wasn’t a Christian, Tess. Lying cardboard-stiff on the bed, Tessa tried to blame the flood of emotions on the horrific sunburn, but one look at Regan told her she knew the truth. Tessa’s heart was broken. Tessa knew it, and Regan knew it. This weeklong shore-side getaway had been Regan’s idea. “You need to get away, Tess. You need to heal.”
Tessa snorted. Heal. Right. She winced against the fire of her skin. She was hardly healing—she’d been burned too badly—burned inside and out.
At least Regan was kind enough not to say it. Still, Tessa could see it in her eyes.
You wouldn’t have gotten burned if only you’d bothered to use sunscreen.
…You could have prevented this if you’d just said no to him from the start….
She hadn’t. She’d been careless. She’d been arrogant. She’d gotten burned—Tessa glanced at the bottle of aloe lotion—and now she was left picking up the pieces of a broken heart.
She should have known.
Then again, maybe she had. Hadn’t Regan told her enough times? Oh, it burned.
Slowly, the tears fell.
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Spacing between each paragraph makes it easier for the reader.
Well written. If only we would listen to those who love us and want the best for us! You captured the topic well.
It will help the reader if you put an extra space between paragraphs.
Good job...keep writing
It flowed well and the message was perfect. The repetition was well incorporated.
Keep writing for Him!
Excellent handling of the topic.
Very well written indeed and worthy of 1st place.
Keep serving Him!
Congratulations on your well-deserved win; and it won't be long before we see you in the Masters.