Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)
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TITLE: Unraveling | Previous Challenge Entry
By Piper Harding
01/05/08 -
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The phone rang three times before I reached for it. I felt the butterflies in my stomach as I
pushed the answer button.
“Hello?” I could hear the nervousness in my voice.
“Hi Amber, it's Cody.” He sounded nervous himself.
“I know. I have caller I.D.”
He laughed, “Who doesn't?”
“What a great invention, huh?” I said now feeling a little bit more at ease.
“It is pretty convenient. Especially when those telemarketers call.”
I laughed knowingly. Cody changed the subject. “So, did you decide where you wanted to go tonight?”
“I want to hear your ideas first.” I sat down on the couch and twirled my hair subconsciously.
“How about we go to dinner first and then to Heather's party?”
My heart caught in my throat.“We can't do that.”
He was confused. “But you and Heather are best friends. Didn't she invite you?”
“She invited me.” I didn't know how to tell him.
“Are you and Heather arguing?”
“Not yet.” I said under my breath.
“What do you mean, 'not yet'?”
I sighed. “Okay, here's the truth Cody. Heather and I are both interested in you, except I never told Heather how I felt. She told me a month ago that she was hoping you would ask her on a date. She doesn't know that we're going on a date tonight or that we've been on three dates in the last two weeks. She's going to be upset.”
Cody was silent.
“Hello? Are you still there?” I asked afraid he hung up on me for being such a rotten friend.
Finally he answered. “ Why didn't you just tell her when we first started dating?”
“I didn't want to hurt her feelings.”
“She's going to be a lot more upset now that you've kept it from her then if you would have told her when I first asked you out.”
I knew he was right, in fact I thought this very thing the minute Cody asked me out but I couldn't get myself to tell her then. I even prayed about it and asked God to give me the courage. But I ignored his answered prayer. I didn't know that Cody and I would get along so well either.
Cody broke into the my thoughts. “Amber, are you thinking or did you hang up on me?”
“I wouldn't hang up on you.” I said softly still contemplating what to do.
“Listen Amber, I wanted to save this for tonight when we saw each other face to face but now is a better time to tell you....”
I held my breath. “I'm listening.”
“I like you Amber and though I'm not ready to ask you to marry me, I can see it coming to that soon.”
I didn't quite know what to say. We only dated a few times yet I did have strong feelings for him. “Don't you think it's too soon for that?” I asked praying he wouldn't say yes.
“No, I don't. We've been friends now for at least a year.”
“I do feel the same way about you Cody but I'm worried about Heather. I never told her that we we're even dating and now I would have to tell her that we're considering marriage? I
might lose her friendship over this. I definitely have to pray and ask for God's wisdom.”
“Let's do that right now. Do you mind if I pray with you over the phone?”
I smiled. Cody was an answer to my prayers. He was a man of God and someday I knew he would be my husband. How blessed I was. “I would like that Cody. Thank you.”
After Cody and I hung up, I asked God to give me the words to say to Heather when I called her. I didn't ask Him to get me out of the situation, I knew there were consequences to my actions. I also knew Heather would be upset with me but ultimately we would be alright. This was a lesson learned. Next time, no matter how badly I don't want to do something, I won't put it off. If I do, the problem won't only still be there but I'll find the problem bigger then it was to start with. Better to take care of it before the problem unravels before my eyes.
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I think the last paragraph is probably not necessary. Trust your own writing and your character development to teach the lesson, and you won't have to summarize it for the reader.
Authentic dialog gives this a very realistic feel.
The ending was a little over-explained. Ending with her decision to make things right would have been sufficient.
Good writing.
Keep it up.