Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Calm (emotionally) (09/13/07)
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TITLE: In the Midst of the Storm (i) | Previous Challenge Entry
By Judy Traffie
09/13/07 -
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"Anxiety rippled through Tyler’s insides leaving a swath of chaos behind. The doctor’s words echoed from far away, the words running together and sounding like a tinny voice through garbled speakers. Struggling to concentrate she focused her eyes on the doctor’s whiskered face trying mentally to comprehend. It was just that what he was saying couldn’t be true, it just wasn’t possible. Her sister couldn’t be gone.
Staring at the doctors lips moving, Tyler stood frozen as images ran through her mind, a silent movie. Her sister laughing as only she could her eyes lighting up with joy.
Her sister healthy and whole, teasing her endlessly. Her responsible, older sister…….
“Ms. Walker?” The doctor’s voice snatched her from the past, the reality of the present rushing up. Forcing herself to nod she sank down onto the hard, plastic chair, the sharp edges cutting into the soft skin of her palms. Her mind raced, a hundred thoughts colliding and scattering in a matter of seconds. She heard the doctor pat her shoulder and say something about calling her parents, but she was unable to respond.
She sat scared, insides jittery and frantic. Standing up she paced the length of the horrible orange carpet and back, wishing she had some way of shedding this eerie energy that possessed her. She stared at the green wall that clashed with the orange carpet and worked on thinking about nothing. The thoughts, the regrets surfaced anyway. If only she hadn’t made her sister put on those dumb rollerblades. She should have listened to her protests that she would get hurt. If only she had been paying attention when that car came around the corner, it was her fault, all her fault.
Sinking into the corner she scrunched herself into a ball, hiding from the monster that was reality. Rocking back and forth she sank into blackness, a blankness that accepted her, soothed her."
Shaking her head, Tyler opened her eyes from that horrid day and looked at the pattern her lamp cast along the wall. She still wasn’t okay, she still blamed herself. She pretended to be doing alright but that was an outright lie. To outsiders she was calm and in control, but only she knew how close she was to freaking out and loosing it. She felt like she was alone in pitch black, wailing, and no one could hear her crying.
Except that wasn’t true either. God was there. He was her calm in this storm. The only thing that could be counted on when the wrecking winds of life blew across her path and left devastation.
Letting out a ragged breath, Tyler sat up wishing that life was the way it used to be. The aggressiveness of the nightmare still clung to her, unwilling to let go clinging to her like the sheets tangled around her legs. It seemed a never ending struggle to function, when her nerves jittered constantly like Mexican jumping beans. Knowing that a hard day was ahead, Tyler did the only thing she could, she bowed her head to pray.
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