The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 620 times
Member Comments
My favorite part was the father choosing not to punish, so great was his relief. What an exciting adventure!

Several punctuation errors, especially missing commas, that if fixed, would improve the flow of this story.

Is this true? What a relief to have made it through the storm!
Wow! Having had some close calls with tornados,I really "felt" the action of the story. I was on the edge of my seat. I was so thankful for the happy ending. Watch out for spelling errors (then not than, huge not hugh), run-on sentences, and missing commas. Thanks for the adventure.
Yes, God will take us throught the storm. There are several misspelled words here. You might want to spell check each entry from now on. This is still a good account of a dangerous situation.
I was intrigued by your title and by your descriptive opening sentences "The yellow and greenish cast of the sky spelled danger. The air hung like heavy shadows of fear around our heads." You did have some punctuation problems that proofreading would probably fix. This was a frightening story, but I'm glad it had a happy ending for this family! :)

This left me breathless. What a dynamite story, and so very well written, that I'm surprised I'm reading in level 1! You have what it takes to be a Master writer.