The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the MYSTERY genre (04/05/07)
You

I never really considered what madness was all about. But, my mother simply stopped talking, retreating into her own self-made shell. I had handled her with contempt and disgust; I guess the teenage years are too much to bear. My unhappiness was just enough to destroy whatever hope she seemed to have left with the poison, the immorality, and the lies. My dad said it was just teenage angst, my mother collapsed into a shattered world because it was too different from the one she had created in her dreams. If you must know, I couldn’t stand to hear her praying and crying; I hated her touch as she laid hands on me on all those “just before dawn” mornings. Then she stopped; she didn’t talk anymore, smile anymore or hope anymore, and I, I didn’t care. Whatever self-destruction I had chosen, I made the choice to fall apart. But I was mad that she fell apart first and had no more time for me, not even to pray.

Why don’t I care about the fact that I don’t care about anything anymore?

Me

Every night, my soul abandoned me; I often watched my child and agonized over the young girl I used to know and know no longer.

Be careful of the glass houses you build, they shatter.

Us

Her hate is contagious.

Me (About Them)

I was jealous of all the other mothers because they had made it through to the other side of the mysterious return. You know, someone once said that aliens steal our daughters just before puberty and return them in tact even though it leaves us worse for wear. Yes, I was jealous of all the healed relationships, conversations and laughter.

I wonder what the aliens do with them while they’re gone?

Me

I miss you; I can’t speak, it’s forbidden, but I can pray without you knowing about it.

Me (About Her)

My mother was a heat-seeking missile—I think she damaged my spirit, but I’m not sure. She left her anger behind hidden deep within my mind, heart, body and soul.

“Now look what you’ve done, it’s out!”

Her hate was contagious. I couldn’t even grieve for her when she died; her twin took that from me. I got one glimpse of her nestled in the casket. I couldn’t even touch her (not like grandma).

Is this chapter closed?

You

Dear mom, I’m running away. Don’t cry; I’ll be back in a week.

Me

My daughter’s story finally unfolded—I can’t breathe. I’ll be out later; I’m collapsing deeper into the shattered world I created.

God? I can't do this without You.

HIM

I heard you—the aliens are on their way back.

Me (To You)

You’re back! But where have you been?
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 868 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jacquelyn Horne
04/13/07
I get the feeling that this is a good story, but I don't understand it. I was a little confused as to who was "me" and who was "you". The writing is very good, so it is probably just my confusion, others may not agree. Keep writing.
Duwana Brennen
04/13/07
It is a bit confusing but has a purpose; there is a history of madness. The characters are a troubled mother and child, but the mother's "mother" was insane (and full of hate), which worries the mom who is speaking. She questions her own sanity and that of her child.
Catrina Bradley
04/14/07
Deep. I like deep. I'm glad for the previous reviewer's comment - I read it again with new eyes. Then I read it again. Great writing! You'll go far, please keep it up.