The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/13/07
This is a great Biblical story and fairly well recounted. Becareful of gerunds, exclamation points, and speech tags. A good proofing and you will have a nice start on Biblical scene.
Good work. You gave me a good example of dialogue paragraphing.
May our Lord continue to bless your efforts.
Excellent job here! I did notice a few grammatical bits, but this is definitely the start of something wonderful. I really enjoyed this, a good refreshing look on a bible story. ^_^