Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Reading (01/25/07)
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TITLE: If Only I Had Known | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tracy Finney
01/31/07 -
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I feel it is best that I leave. I know your life will be much better without me. Please forgive me for all the trouble I have caused you.
I love you,
Sydney”
Elizabeth sat with tears streaming down her face as she read the note she found on her daughter’s pillow. Her heart sank in her chest as she perused the note one more time. Her precious child was barely seventeen and so naïve; how could she survive on her own?
Has our relationship really been that bad? Was I such a terrible mother? Did I chase her away because I didn’t understand, because I didn’t take the time to read her cries for love and acceptance? Was I just too busy to show her how much I cared?
In truth, neither Elizabeth nor Sydney were bad people; they simply had opposite natures. Busy schedules never allowed enough time to communicate; neither one could understand the other.
The years went by, Elizabeth cried, prayed, and hoped to one day see her daughter, her own flesh and blood; yet her health began to fail, her heart grew weak, and her eyes were dim. The day came when Elizabeth was rushed to the emergency room; her body suffering from the effects of a stroke, her soul the sorrows of a broken heart. The twenty-six years since Sydney had left home--without any word from her--had finally weakened her to the point of death.
“Doctor, doctor! We need you immediately in room fifteen for a stroke patient.”
The doctor quickly jogged toward the room. With haste she opened the door and stepped through, but was soon stood frozen stiff as if she had seen a ghost. In reality she hadn’t seen a ghost but her own dying mother. Sydney regained her composure and quickly began to work on her mother. It wasn’t long before she had to face the reality of the situation; her mother would probably not survive.
“Mother, can you hear me?” the doctor was bent over her patient, her own tears falling on her mom’s shoulder.
Elizabeth blinked opened her eyes; recognition swept away the look of pain. “Sydney,” she whispered in a barely audible voice.
“Yes mother. I’m here.”
“I’ve prayed for this day. I’m so sorry I didn’t show you how much I loved you. I’ve cried everyday and hoped that I would be able to see you just one more time. I need you to know how much I love you,” the slow stuttering sound of her mother’s voice hit deep into her daughter’s heart.
“I know mom. I’m sorry. I love you, I need you. I’m sorry,” Sydney had lost all her professional attributes; she no longer appeared as a dignified doctor, but rather a lost little girl who desperately needed her mother. She clung to her mom as if by holding her she could prevent the inevitable.
“I love you,” her mother’s voice trailed off.
After Sydney had kissed her mom for the last time, she said her final goodbye. She was almost to the door when a nurse approached her. “Excuse me doctor. We found this piece of paper in your mom’s pocket; we thought you might want it.”
Sydney politely nodded, her world was still spinning. She stuffed her note into her purse and decided she would look at it when she was home.
On her couch, the tears flowed freely as she read that piece of paper from her mom’s pocket.
“Farewell my dear mother. I am writing this letter to express my apologies and deepest regrets. I know we have not always seen eye to eye; as a matter of fact, we seldom could agree on anything.
I feel it is best that I leave. I know your life will be much better without me. Please forgive me for all the trouble I have caused you.
I love you,
Sydney”
“Oh mom,” she sobbed, “if only I had known how much you loved me. You carried that note with you everyday for twenty-six years. Now I will keep this paper close to me, it will be forever with me to remind me of how much you cared. I will read it always so I can have your love close to my heart.”
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