The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/18/07
I loved this story! Wonderfully realistic dialogue, vivid descriptions (I could see and hear the grandpa and the little boy, and felt right there with them), and timely message. I was drawn in by the title and also really enjoyed the cleverly humorous ending!

Would have liked to know what the French quotes were saying, though.

Great job!
Nice story! I loved the French quotes, especially the boy's humor and wit. You were able to teach an important lesson without being preachy. And thanks for the reminder about writing for God, alone, :).
01/20/07
I really like the tender relationship portrayed here between grandfather and grandson.

Most of this was written in present tense, but you strayed occasionally into past tense. I think past tense would work better for this type of story.

You've created very likeable characters--I enjoyed this a great deal.