The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is definitely a great start; you've put a unique slant on the topic and produced a thought-provoking story. A few things to work on: this might be more effective in the past tense, and there are some minor punctuation and grammar errors--nothing that some targeted editing wouldn't take care of. Good job!
I agree with Jan, but your idea was a good one and the message came across.
Definitely an approach I hadn't thought of! Good job with detail - I also agree with the other posters regarding some ways to improve, but definitely felt like I learned much from this!! Keep writing!
This is very thought-provoking. He is a hero in the world's eyes and yet he is seen as a sinner by God - like all of us are.

A nice story.