Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cross (as in the Cross of Christ) (08/17/06)
-
TITLE: Please Let Me Know When It's Over | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gale BROWN
08/17/06 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Please somebody just let me know when it's over, should I suffer so much pain in my arms and I could barely pick up my feet. The tears ran down my face as I saw no relief in sight.
My parents would have never had me work this hard, cause I know that they loved me so deeply. I guess my grandmother did too; in some strange and funny way. She lived up here in these hills all alone except for a visit from neighbors and family. I don't know what I was thinking when I said I would stay with her for a few days.
As I walk into the house with the wood, my grandmother could tell that I was really upset. But she didn't say a word or come to help me.
This was like a bad dream, just somebody tell me when this is over. Who would watch a someone struggling and don't offer to help them.
"Are you okay," my grandmother smiled and asked me.
"No. My arms are hurting and my feet are swelling. How could you watch me with out offering me any help?" I asked as the tears started to stream down my face.
"This was a life lesson for you. Here you are 17 years old, never worked for anyone and you stand before me feeling sorry for yourself," she said.
"What does that have to do with anything?" I shouted.
"You know that thousands of years ago, God watch his Son walk up a hill. He watch as they nailed Him to the Cross. He saw as they pounded the nails, His Son was in such agony and pain. He watched them as they crowned Him with a crown of thorns going right into His very flesh. He watch them as they pierced Him in the side but He did not help. In this life my child you have to bare your own cross." she sadly said.
I had heard the story of how Jesus went to the Cross for us, but never until that I day could I began to realize what He had went through.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
What I might change - With a little editing here and there this story will be even better! In the first line, it should be (mother's) showing possession. There are a few places like that here and there and a few places you need to add an s to plural it. Something else to consider- instead of saying 'she cried' try showing what she did. For example, she wiped her eyes. Add some action instead of the saids. Someone once suggested that to me and it really helped improve my writing!
Keep at it! It shows that you have a lot to share!!