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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33

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The Heart of Absalom

by Beatrice Ang
06/26/06
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“Absalom! Absalom!”

Tamar recklessly ran, tripped, and got up...neither stopping nor minding her mother’s call to slow down. Her round, youthful face was vibrant with joy, signifying the long lashes that hooded her eyes, the perfectly shaped nose, and the cherubic tint of her rosy skin. Even at a young age, a beauty like no other was already being nurtured, both in her physical appearance and also in her soul.

“Absalom!” she squealed once again, throwing her small arms around her brother’s waists, the only part of him she could reach. It made her giggle how Absalom looked both delighted and embarrassed. She pulled on his robes until he finally lifted her in his arms and gave her a smile.

Absalom was thirteen and striking. His eyes, which were gray and lively, were reminiscent of his mother’s. His hair, long and thick, was teetering between shades of brown and red. His solemn face was as handsome as that of his father, David’s, though with deliberate mistakes that made him even better-looking. He had the bearing and stature of a prince, a form that was not lazy but full of competitive spirit, giving him an aura of a person who would not and could not afford to make a single mistake. He was perfect…and knew it.

“You ran from Mama again,” he lovingly reprimanded his sister.

Tamar giggled and tightened her hold. “But I wanted to see you, Absalom! What did father say? Did he miss me?”

“I think so,” Absalom replied. “He said, ‘how’s my little Tamar?’ And I told him, ‘The usual. She still eats and smells like a pig.’”

Maacah, having run after her daughter, caught her children jibing at each other.

“That’s enough, you two,” she ordered, relieving Absalom of Tamar, who still looked quite affronted at being called a pig. Maacah planted a kiss on her son’s cheek and smiled. “And you. How was your trip?”

Absalom brightened at once. “It was great, mother. Father just came home from a hunt and he promised Amnon and me that he’d bring us along next time. He said all princes need to learn how to hunt.”

Maacah nodded wisely. “Well, if your father says so, then I guess it must be important. And how was Amnon?”

“The same,” Absalom grunted, hiding a scowl. “All brawns and no brains. He’s always bullying people with Jonadab. I told father so but he was too busy to care. If it were me…”

Maacah raised her eyebrows, surprised at the animosity she hadn’t expected from her son. “Well, if it were you, what are you going to do?”

Absalom blushed. “Oh, I don’t mean to judge him, Mama! I simply meant that if Amnon tried bullying me, father would have his hide. Father’s a man of justice and he wouldn’t let him get away with it. Though Amnon is his eldest son.”

The young man said this all very quickly, giving Maacah the impression that he was blaming her for giving birth to him a little too late.

Nevertheless, Absalom was pleasant for the rest of the evening and the weeks that followed after that. It seemed as though he’d forgotten all about hating Amnon and busily chatted to all who would listen about his father’s promise to go hunting instead. Maacah, though, treasured all her son had said in her heart. Though he didn’t say it out loud, she knew that he resented having a half-brother. Then again, who wouldn’t, she thought to herself. Even I resent David’s other concubines. She sighed in despair, half-thanking and half regretting that she ever loved the king. Being the king’s lover was no easy task. She had to deal with jealousy and bouts of loneliness when David chose to stay with some of his other wives instead. But it was her life. And it was her son’s life to be just another of the king’s sons.

But true to his word, David soon arrived to take his son to his first hunt. Handsome as ever, his face masked by the confidence worthy of a king and the heart fitting to a child, he engaged Maacah in small talk and played with Tamar while Absalom got ready.

“Be careful with him, David,” Maacah stressed, worried for her son. “He’s not very strong. Remember he got sick once when he was a baby and it hasn’t completely gone away.”

David laughed, threw a laughing Tamar up the air, and caught her. “You worry too much, Maacah. Our son is perfectly fit and strong as a stallion. Besides, when I was a shepherd and had to chase away lions and the bears, God took care of me. He’ll do the same for Absalom.”

Maacah did not say anything. It wasn’t the bears she was afraid of.

“Oh, Papa,” Tamar’s musical voice, as she spoke to her father, cut through Maacah’s thoughts. “Can’t I come?”

“You’re too young, little one.”

“But won’t God take care of me too?”

“Yes, but I want you to stay home and take care of your mother,” David gave her forehead a kiss. “You will do that for me, won’t you?”

Tamar smiled; eagerly pleased at being trusted with such a job by the man she looked up to with her whole heart. “Okay. But when you come back, you have to play with me again. Promise, Papa?”

David laughed and handed her to her mother. “I promise it, little one.” Absalom approached in his hunting clothes. Giving him a nod of approval, David turned serious. “Ready, son?”

Absalom nodded. “Yes, father.”

David walked to the horses and Absalom was about to follow when his mother held him back.

“Be careful, Absalom,” she warned him softly, “Don’t let your heart break into pieces.”

Absalom looked at her curiously. “If I were to fall of a horse or get eaten by a bear, it’s my bones that would break, mother. Not my heart.”

Maacah’s expression softened. “I know, Absalom. But be careful all the same.”

“And bring home the biggest boar!” Tamar cried, suddenly inspired. Absalom looked around, saw that no one was left to embarrass him, and kissed his sister.

Then, with a last salute to his mother, he turned on his heel and left. Maacah fretted the whole day and prayed for her son. But by nighttime, she realized that there were some things she could not protect Absalom from. Things like the truth…the reality that not all men were perfect and that one way or another, a person one loves too much would inevitably be the same person that one would disappoint. Or be disappointed with.


***


Two days had passed when Absalom finally caught his first boar. It was a stroke of miracle how he had caught it. For days the boar had been wandering around their camp, taunting the king and his men with its gigantic size and raw red hide. It also proved to be a challenge, when it came at that, for the boar’s ferocity was nearly legendary. In a fit of temper just minutes before it was caught, it had gashed Jonadab by the ankle with its tusk and left a mark there forever. Amnon, who had stopped to help his friend (though Absalom could have sworn it was because he was too cowardly to run after it alone), had let the boar go. Absalom pursued it, aimed, and with the guidance of an angel hit it square in the skull. He dragged it back to the camp, afterwards, much to the chagrin of Amnon but to the delight of David.

“My son!” David’s face was positively glowing when he approached Absalom and congratulated him for his catch. “My pride and joy!”


***


Amnon scowled.

By nightfall, he had still caught nothing but an old bore that was half the size of Absalom’s. David had looked at it, given him a half-hearted praise, and moved on to where his other son was.

“What are you moping about?” Jonadab asked as soon as Amnon entered the tent where he was recuperating from the boar’s attack.

“It’s that Absalom!” Amnon growled spitefully, glaring at Jonadab. “Him and his boar! And it’s all your fault.”

“Mine!”

“Yes, yours. What did you get attacked for?”

Jonadab gave a snort. “Don’t give me that, Amnon. You could have run after the boar yourself. Who asked you to be so concerned?”

Amnon’s eyes narrowed.

“Come off it,” Jonadab scoffed. “Let’s start this conversation over. Why are you, the king’s son, looking like your face got shoved down a puddle of mud?”

“I resent Absalom! I hate him!”

“For catching a better boar than you,” Jonadab smiled slyly. “Well, you know what they say, there’s a solution for everything. Where are the king and his men?”

“They’re having a feast to celebrate Absalom’s victory,” Amnon snapped. “Rub it in, why don’t you?”

“Are they eating the boar?”

Amnon frowned. “No. Absalom wants to bring it home to his sister. Girls who eat that much must be really ugly…why are you asking me all these questions anyway?”

Jonadab raised his eyebrows. “I thought it might have been obvious. Well, if I have to tell you plain as day, then so be it. Absalom’s boar is big…but without its head, hands, and feet…it would be just as big as yours.”

Amnon’s eyes widened for an instant. But almost as quickly, it disappeared, leaving instead the same sly smile that was reflected on Jonadab’s face. What they were planning to do would no doubt earn the king’s displeasure. But other than a reprimand that Amnon would pretend to sincerely listen to, David won’t dare do anything. He wouldn’t have to.


***


Absalom stretched just outside his tent, a yawn of satisfaction escaping his lips. Today was the greatest day of his life. Not only did he prove himself better than Amnon but David was remarkably pleased with him as well.

He looked up the sky and blinked at the stars. They were so many, so beautiful…he smiled as he pretended that the stars were dancing in honor of him. He was so happy.

A drowned, muffled sound snapped him out of his reverie. Turning around, he realized that the sound came from his tent. Abandoning caution, he ran inside and found the young man assigned to guard his tent bound, gagged and lying on the floor.

Absalom bent down and quickly untied him.

“Your brother took the boar!” the boy burst out. “He went in here and took it!”

When Absalom didn’t move---partly from confusion, partly from surprise---the boy grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out. He pulled him along until they stopped just outside Amnon’s tent where many of the king’s men were already standing, pointing to the spectacle that hung above them, laughing about it to themselves. At the sight of Absalom, they stopped their jibes.

Absalom instinctively turned his head. Impaled on a tall spear was the boar he had caught, decapitated of its head, arms, and legs.

A wave of fury rushed through Absalom’s soul. His eyes bloodshot with anger, he looked around for the culprit. Amnon faced him with smug calm.

“That’s my boar!” Absalom gritted his teeth to prevent himself from shrieking. Half of him wanted to lunge at his half brother and beat him to a bloody pulp, but the other half knew that Amnon was older, bigger and more capable of destroying him. “Bring it down!”

Amnon sneered at him, openly enjoying the pain that he was causing his brother. “You bring it down. As it’s yours.”

Absalom clenched his fists. But instead of attacking Amnon, as many expected of him, he turned and walked away. David, the thought had occurred to him. My father will put a stop to this.

Walking briskly, he ran to his father’s tent where he was let in at once.

“Father!” he cried, ready to spill all that Amnon had done. The look on David’s face cut him short.

“I know about the boar,” David said, a picture of furious passion etched on his face. Turning to one of his men, he ordered that Amnon be brought before him.
A strange feeling of triumph entered Absalom, the burden of vengeance considerably lightening. His father would avenge for him and punish Amnon! He could tell from the solemn way David was moving that Amnon would not be a facing his father. He would be facing the king. Absalom’s blood still roared with the desire to injure Amnon, but he contented himself with whatever punishment David saw fit. They waited in silence until Amnon was brought into the tent.

“What you have done was terribly wrong, Amnon,” David said without preamble, obviously trying to control the temper that was raging inside him. “You have sinned against God and your brother. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Amnon did his best to look repentant, but Absalom was not convinced.

“Forgive me, father,” Amnon said humbly. “I don’t know what came over me to do such a thing.” He turned to Absalom. “Forgive me, my brother.”

Absalom remained impassive, but inside, he was scoffing. As if what Amnon did deserved forgiveness! He looked at David and shared a stern look with him. Amnon’s apology wasn’t enough. He had to pay for what he did!

Absalom stared at the king, anxious of what his judgment would be. Perhaps a few hits with a very thick stick, he hoped. He looked at Amnon and saw the fear in his eyes as David walked to him. He felt giddy at the thought that Amnon would be hit for what he had done against Absalom. He anticipated it. He welcomed it.

But instead of hitting Amnon, David embraced him.

“You’re forgiven,” David told his son without hesitation.

Absalom’s mouth dropped open. What was this? Why was David forgiving Amnon? Amnon hadn’t done anything to him.

“He’s done something against me!” Absalom half screamed in spite of himself as soon as Amnon had run off and it was just the king and him. “Why did you let him go?”

David was startled at Absalom’s reaction. “He’s your brother. And he has asked for your forgiveness.”

“He wasn’t yours to forgive! He was mine and I refuse to forgive him! He ripped my boar apart!”

David frowned. “And what do you suggest, Absalom? Shall I rip your brother apart as well?”

“I didn’t mean that!” Absalom blanched, blinking back the unexpected tears that stung his eyes. David was supposed to protect him from Amnon! Not scold him! “I only meant that you should punish him! He’s done something terrible and he is not at all sorry. Can't you tell he's pretending? No one does something on purpose and is sorry about it! He bound my servant as well.”

David shook his head. “Forget it, my son. He’s your brother.”

“He hurt me.”

“And shall I hurt him back?” David’s temper flared. “Are you not all my children? Don’t I treat you the same? Now go, and I shall spare you as I did him.”

Seeing the look that crossed the king’s face, Absalom knew he had no choice. He ran and returned to his own tent, shutting everyone out and burying his face in his hands. Alone, all the anger and humiliation he felt were turned to hot tears that unceasingly escaped his eyes. All the bitterness that he felt rested on his heart and he knew, just as his mother had warned, that it had broken into pieces. He knew the truth as well that unlike what he would rather have believed the king could not and would not protect him. He wasn’t the king’s son. He was simply a king’s son. And like all that the king had…he could as easily be discarded.


***

Many years had passed and Absalom had not forgotten that day. For a long time he had kept his hatred for both his father and Amnon at bay. But seeing his sister lying on his bed, weeping at the humiliation of what Amnon had done to her, Absalom recalled all that had happened to support the hatred he felt. Amnon had treated his sister like a pig…a common boar that he could take and use as he wanted. As for David, did he not see her as the same thing? David was furious with what Amnon had done, just like then, but he had refused to punish him. Now it was no longer the boar but his sister that was affronted yet still he refused.

Absalom sighed. He would not deny his sister the justice she deserved.

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