Christian Living

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Sexual misconduct takes many forms. Unfortunately, many pastors and Christian leaders have fallen into this trap. It is as old as the story of David and Bathsheba and as current as the present day headlines. It is particularly disturbing when ministers of the gospel are engaged in any kind of sexual misconduct, while at the same time they are pastoring churches, and even have nationwide ministries on radio or television. Their congregation and following looks up to them as a spiritual mentor but never suspects any kind of wrong doing. Over a period of time things have a way of revealing themselves and one's sin catches up with them. Is there help for those in these positions who are caught in this cycle?

A big question to ask is, "Why do people in ministry go for sometimes years in a secret sinful lifestyle with no apparent desire to change or conviction of wrongful behavior?" I interviewed a personal friend of mine who served as an associate at a church where I used to attend years ago. The senior pastor of this congregation was involved in sexual misbehavior. My friend founded an organization called Clergy Recovery Network, based in Montana. In response to this question he said that 78 percent of people in ministry have no one they can call a close friend, so they feel isolated. Some of them are not connected to a denomination so they have no place to turn. As a result there often is not "pastor helping pastor" type counseling.

My friend, Dale Woolery, further went on to share with me that sexual sins do not happen right away in ministry. According to his experience in dealing with clergy through his organization, 43 is the average age at which adultery is committed, and most of the clergy have been in the ministry for 17 years prior to being involved in some type of sexual sin. He said they fall into the trap of a "sin and confess cycle" over and over again, thinking that they are dealing with it. The self-protection of the secret lifestyle, accompanied by shame and fear, enslaves a person more and more with age.

Some people might find it surprising that Dale Woolery's ministry does not emphasize accountability partners. Here's why. It puts the importance on personal vulnerability and honesty. In other words, accountability does not work if a person is not being honest about their sexual misconduct or attempts to change. If you are a clergy member or Christian leader involved in sexual misconduct and truly want a way out, or know someone who is, Clergy Recovery Network is the place to go for help. This ministry helps people through mentoring, consultation, referral, and writing, and includes not only sexual issues but also clergy who are "burned out and weary," caught in a secret sin, marital conflict, or internal conflicts within their local church.

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