Christian Living
I asked my thirteen year old son to pray for me. The past two years I have not wanted to live in the midwest anymore. After each trip to the coast or to the island, I just know that the simpler lifestyle of the beach is what I want. The rat race to keep up with our stuff, the hectic pace, and the shallowness of it all is no longer what I desire. I'm tired of the restaurants, movies, obesity, and lethargic lifestyle of surburbia. The beach is conducive to fitness and quality friendships.
Sure, I wanted this house so badly. I can remember the first time my husband was asked if he would relocate to Kansas City. The thought of moving back to a city was beyond me. We had moved from the outskirts of Nashville and the scenery was beautiful. Greenery all around and tall pine trees everywhere. Drive a just a little and you find yourself in the mountains. Tennessee was beautiful!
We lived in northwest Arkansas before then and the hills and creeks were wonderful too. I'm a nature gal, if you haven't discovered by now. If we wanted to go swimming or fishing, we could pull off the ride and jump right in at any creek.
Now I am smack dab in the middle of the United States. I remember when my husband asked me to marry him. I made a joke and said that I would under one condition. That I would move anywhere with him but Kansas and guess where I live. Practically in Kansas!
The first time we drove up here to look at houses, I noticed how flat the area was with no nature! There is a conservation center by the house but no real nature. Nothing but construction, homes that are shoe-horned in side by side. Nothing but modular homes, concrete, and construction. I also noticed the materialism, large SUV's that were so expensive people were afraid to even get them wet. Manmade lakes that no one was allowed to use. Everything was about status; for show.
We were renting an older 2000 square foot home at the time for $650.00 per month. Based on what we were paying in Webb City, we figured that we'd have to bump our rental search to $800.00 per month. Boy, were we wrong! After looking at several roach-infested, hole-in-the-floor homes, we knew that the price range would have to be higher a sufficient home in this town outside of Kansas City would not be found.
Now we didn't actually have to live in this particular town or in this part of the town and we could have rented a duplex or condo. But our minds were on material things and we thought since the job was offering more pay then we could afford to live the lifestyle of our dreams.
After three days of searching, we drove back with not a single house in mind. My husband went back to work and gave up the dream that he would ever move up in his career. To make matters worse, things were getting shady at his job and his paychecks were arriving later and later.
Several months later, the job offer in Kansas City was presented to him again. So we hauled the family back to the city to look for a house. This time we had raised our search to homes that cost $1000.00 per month to rent. We had our standards.
Immediately, we found a lease/purchase home for $1450.00 per month in an exclusive neighborhood. That was much more than the $1000.00 we agreed upon, which was already a huge jump from the rent payment that we were currently making. And yet that still wasn't good enough for me for the home I really wanted was across the cul-de-sac. It was the show home. Yes, it was going to be $2000.00 per month but it was gorgeous and incredibly spacious! The show home was already owned by someone so we got the lease/purchase home for $1450.00 per month.
We lived in the first home for two years. Each day I looked out the window to stare at the home I really wanted. I even took rolls and rolls of photos. I had become friends with the owner and one day he discoverd the photos of his house on my desk. When asked why I had all these pictures of his home, I lied and said that I was taking pictures of my front yard and the neighborhood. Then I confessed to him how much I loved the home.
Two years later, the neighbor came by and announced that he was getting a divorce and selling the house. He knew I wanted the house badly so he wanted to let me be the first to know. $2000.00 monthly house payment, not to mention the maintenance and utility costs on a 3800 square foot home with vaulted ceilings, outrageous property tax, and a very high Homeowner's Association annual fee. Wow! It was going to be quite a stretch to put it mildly.
Deep down, my husband and I knew that this wasn't a wise decision for we already had a gorgeous home right across the street. Being bound to a house that extravagant would limit us in several ways. But I wanted it so badly and wanting to please me, my husband started the process of buying the home.
We have been in the home for 2 1/2 years now and I absolutely love it! It really is the house of my dreams but now I realize that what I thought I wanted really isn't what I wanted... for I have changed. After traveling so many times and just growing and maturing, I realize that material things will not make me happy. Material things also keep us in bondage. Working for our stuff is not worth it. Now I am sick of the rat race, the snooty neighbors, and the lack of quality friendships. I am thankful for the home for I have plenty of room to hold gatherings, have church meeting, and sleepovers. My basement has been finished into a 1200 plus square foot gym and office. We even have a full bath and living room down there. But the house has tied us down and moving to an island or to the beach is not quite attainable with a house such as this.
My husband has promised me that we will sell the home and move in two years. He wants to build up some equity and enjoy the benefits of his current dream job. I'm complaining that two years is way too long of a wait. I traveled eight times to the beach this year-to the Mexican Caribbean island of Cozumel four times and to Florida and southern California the other times and each time I come back even more depressed. Here I am living the life of luxury and complaining every day that I hate living in this area for its lack of nature and coast. Every single day I have complained and the complaining gets more and more intense.
My poor husband. He is willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy. I am being unfair. Now he's set a two-year goal. Setting goals is good but I'm not going to do that to him and to our family again this time. I will be thankful for the life, home, and location that I have. I'll enjoy this beautiful house and the life that I am living right now. No longer will I miss out on each moment by complaining and wishing it all away. Many people would fantasize for a life like mine and here I am completely ungrateful and wanting to move on to something else. In my quest to get rid of the shallow, material rat race, I too have become shallow.
It 's good that I don't sleep beyond a few hours. It's good that I have these early morning times with myself. It's good that God has these talks with me. And it's good that I don't relive the title of this story once again, "When you finally get what you want, it's not what you wanted after all".
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