Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: PHONE (11/10/16)
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TITLE: The Smart Life | Previous Challenge Entry
By Allison Egley
11/17/16 -
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6:00 AM – My alarm rings, Good morning, Owner Margaret! Owner Margaret stirs. She hits snooze. I’ll awaken her again in 5 minutes.
6:05 AM – My alarm rings once again. Snooze.
6:10 AM – Alarm. Snooze.
6:15 AM – Repeat
6:20 AM – Owner Margaret finally gets up, but not before nearly flinging me across the room. Hey, now. Gentle. Don’t kill the messenger. Why she doesn’t just set her alarm for 6:20 AM I’ll never understand. Humans.
6:21 AM – She uses me to check her e-mail. The only item of importance is that she’s won the Nigerian lottery for the 54th time. You’d think that one of these times she’d actually answer, but what do I know? Humans.
6:45 AM – She checks Facebook as she eats breakfast. Can’t let any news go unheard for a few hours. She’s currently liking cute cat videos and pictures.
7:10 AM – Owner gets into the car and sets my GPS to get to work. She knows the way, but “appreciates” the traffic reports I give her. And by “appreciates” I mean she mutters under her breath.
7:30 AM – “There is a traffic delay. Five minutes have been added to your commute.” You know, in some weird, sadistic way I almost like giving her the traffic delays. Evil, I know. But at least she gets to listen to her music and sing along a bit longer.
8:10 AM – Owner finally makes it to work. Only 10 minutes late. Owner Margaret is grateful to have a job where she can make up time at the end of the day.
8:11 AM to 4:40 PM (off and on) Owner plugs me in and I play music for her while she’s working and not meeting with anyone.
9:30 AM – Owner Margaret steals a quick glance to check her latest Facebook likes.
12:15 PM – Lunch time. Owner checks the news as she eats lunch, and shares her findings with her coworkers.
2:30 PM – Owner checks me again and responds to her texts.
4:40 PM – Owner heads home.
4:41 PM – Owner Margaret sets her GPS back home. Again, she just “appreciates” my traffic updates.
5:00 PM – “There is a traffic delay. Seven minutes have been added to your commute.”
5:25 PM – Owner takes a wrong turn. The same wrong turn she always makes. It drives me crazy. Like she knows the best way home, or something. Humans.
5:40 PM – Home.
5:41 PM to 11:08 PM – Owner checks texts and Facebook ad nauseum
6:45 PM – Bible time! Let's dig into the Word.
7:34 PM – Owner Margaret Googles “How to get cat pee out of children’s hair.” I’m sure there’s a story behind that one. I do not envy you, Owner, Margaret.
7:35 PM – Owner Margaret unlikes all the cat videos and pictures she liked this morning. Touché.
7:45 PM – Owner nearly drops me in the tub as she washes her daughter’s hair. That was a close one.
8:34 PM – Owner Margaret sends a text to her friend. “Yeah, I’ll be there around 6:30 toad arrow.” “Ack! Tomorrow. Toad arrow?? Wow. Major auto correct fail there.” Au contraire, Owner Margaret. Auto correct win. For me.
9:08 PM – She plays her favorite games on her apps. Then she yells at me when she loses a level. As if it’s my fault. Once again, I’m only the messenger. Humans.
10:07 PM – Owner watches TV as she eats her bedtime snack and uses me to check Facebook. Ah, multitasking at its finest.
11:08 PM – Owner checks her alarm for tomorrow, then climbs into bed and decides to read a book before falling asleep. What? A book? How 20th century of her. As if my reading app isn’t good enough. Granted, my screen is so small she must either squint or enlarge the text so much that she’s swiping pages every ten words, but that’s beside the point. Humans.
11:28 PM – Owner turns out the light to go to sleep. But don't worry, Owner Margaret. Even as you sleep and when I'm not right be your side, I'll be monitoring your credit, and I’ll also alert you should there be anything suspicious on your home security cameras. Always vigilant! Unless, of course, I fall into the toilet. Or you drop me. Or my battery runs down, or...
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Author’s note:
Though Owner Margaret (name changed)… excuse me… the author doesn’t actually own a smartphone, this is based loosely on her daily experience with technology. Though maybe not as loosely as she’d like you to believe.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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