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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Dead End (02/06/14)
“So we’re at an impasse, then.”

The court-ordered therapist faces me with the usual neutral stare. Nothing showing from her green eyes. I bet she wins all the office poker tournaments.

My arms lay tight across my chest, like an iron maiden. Face muscles scrunch so tight a migraine is inevitable.

“Yes,” I snarl, “an impasse, stalemate, standoff, deadlock, dead end!”

I try to hold her steady gaze but the raging internal fire hurts my blue eyes. I turn away to stare once more at the bland oatmeal walls.

Miss Marsh scribbles on her constant companion; the little black book. I don’t need to see the action. I hear her scratching away like a hen after worms.

“Melissa, you understand that our sessions are to lead to reconciliation. If you refuse this last step I’m not sure we can continue. Do you know what that means for you?”

The even tone of her voice is more irritating than any lecture my mother ever yelled at me during one of her drunken flings. I remain resolute. She continues.

“I’m going to go through the facts of your case. I want you to listen. At least try and listen. There is an out here. You don’t have to return to jail.”

A small but noticeable pleading sneaks into the last sentence.

“We don’t need to go through all of the events that led up to your first arrest. Needless to say you didn’t have the best start in life …”

I guffaw liberally turning in one of my better Jim Carey impersonations.

Unimpressed, as usual, Miss Marsh marches on.

“… In recent years you’ve fallen into some unhealthy practices …”

“Wocka! Wocka! Wocka!” Fozzie Bear lives.

“… in order to pay for rent, food, and your addiction to cocaine, you became quite adept at stealing …”

“And the winner is … Marsh mellow!” The genie from Aladdin is my best impersonation.

I should get a job at Disney and voice over anything Robin Williams is capable of.

“… so you were arrested. Then in court, your favourite victim, Mr. Lee of Lee’s Jewelry, asks the judge for leniency as this was your first arrest …”

There is no quick witted response ready on my lips. Why did the old man do it? What did he see in me? Some strung out no good street girl?

Unconsciously the furrows in my forehead relax. The tiniest hint of regret knocks on my heart’s steal door.

“Judge Hendricks agreed and dropped all charges. You were free. Without a record. Given a blank page to start a new chapter of your life. Every available resource was offered to you: counselling, free housing, retraining …”

Regret pounds at my temples like a jackhammer.

“But instead of taking the gift offered, you left court, went home, and assaulted your roommate who apparently owed you twenty dollars …”

Apparently? Apparently? The blue flame of rage rises and consumes regret in an instance. I turn back to face this entitled, indulged, cosset.

“She DID owe me! She deserved what she got!”

For once emotion shows through the green eyes. Is it pity or mockery?

“But you didn’t get what you deserved, did you Melissa? You were handed freedom when you deserved prison. But for some reason you couldn’t return the same grace to Sharon.”

I spit on the brown rug in disgust. Sharon! She’s nothing! I may use coke once in a while but she’s a no good crack head. I may steal to make ends meet but she sells herself. Lowlife!

Miss Marsh gathers herself and once more passionless green eyes look steadily into mine.

“For some reason Judge Hendricks has given you another chance. Will you continue with this process?”

“If you think I’m going to apologize to Sharon and go through your little anger management, forgive all my oppressor’s crap, you don’t know me.”

I’m truly seething now. Breaths coming in short hisses. Our eyes lock. Mine fiery blue. Hers calm green.

“So we’re at an impasse, then.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Toni Hammer
02/18/14
As someone who's been in counseling more than my fair share, I can say you nailed the annoyance and frustration that come during sessions. Well done. Your characters were real, your dialog was authentic, and it was overall a really great read.

My only red ink comments:

In this sentence you want to use 'steel"

'The tiniest hint of regret knocks on my heart’s steal door"

And I'm not sure if this part near the end, after she spits on the floor, is meant to be dialog or not: Sharon! She’s nothing! I may use coke once in a while but she’s a no good crack head. I may steal to make ends meet but she sells herself. Lowlife!
C D Swanson 
02/18/14
Wow - I saw this going through my head like a movie, facial expressions voice mimics and all.

Great writing.

God bless~
Dusty Fontaine
02/19/14
I'm in the intermediate level and have been reading those stories, but I can see I should be reading the Masters.

This is an excellent story and very well done. It is a rewrite of the unforgiving servant parable Jesus told.

"swallowing regret in an instance." I think should be "in an instant."

Great work.

Blessings,
Dusty
lynn gipson 
02/19/14
Oh, this is Good! I could feel the anger of the girl in this story. I devoured every line and hated when the story ended. This could be a very good book, one I would not want to put down. Bravo!
Bea Edwards 
02/19/14
What a great modern re-telling of the parable of the unforgiving servant.
Your self righteous criminal MC is not unlike so many folks who compare themselves with someone they consider worse than them in order to feel worthy of mercy.