The Official Writing Challenge
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03/08/08
Ouch! How many times have I been a Jerry? Too many! LOVE the message of this piece. One suggestion...I'd lose the very first sentence and start with the next. The first is unnecessary. But all in all, nicely done!
03/11/08
This certainly packed a whallop! What a lesson you packed into this--I've been a Jerry too often. Thank you for pointing that out--LoL, I think. (truly, thank you. *grin*)
03/12/08
Excellent story. This fits with the "Actions" proverb too. I like how you drew the character of Jerry because you made him so unlikable and then reminded me that I can be just like him too. Ouch!
03/12/08
I liked the full circle and the characters a great deal. Couple small issues "put it aside" vs "put aside", boss and their vs. bosses or boss and his/her...Great that the MC addressed herself and the antagonist in the story. I liked this entry.