Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Doctor/Nurse (11/02/06)
-
TITLE: Free Clinic | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kenn Allan
11/09/06 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Below the dank, forbidding walls;
Since birth I've had no other home,
Yet feel displaced when darkness falls.
Perdition's flames divert my quest,
While icy fingers stroke my spine;
I curse the coils within my chest,
But know the blame is fully mine.
The stabbing pain inside my soul,
Reveals the sickness deep within,
So I keep striving toward my goal—
To free myself from jaws of sin.
But where might someone find a cure,
When evil grips the heart so tight?
A hope once heard, although obscure—
Seek JESUS SAVES in neon light.
I scrape the contents of my brain,
For memories to lead me there,
And stumble through the dark and rain,
Until I spot The Clinic's glare.
The door swings open at my touch,
A Nurse regards my shy approach;
Her caring eyes reveal so much,
Devoid of loathing and reproach.
"Come, tell me of your woes," she smiles,
"So we may treat your troubled soul,
But first, let's check your worldly files,
To see what virtues they extol."
She asks the year that I was born,
Then ambles through my years of shame,
And pulls a folder, soiled and worn—
Its front emblazoned with my name.
"I see from this," the Nurse begins,
"Your Resignation and Resolve
Are predisposed by chronic sins,
Which left untreated won't dissolve.
"Peer Pressure flux has me concerned,
From lack of Truth your friends impart,
But I detect no Kindness spurned,
Or undue hardness of your heart."
She stops quite unexpectedly,
With eyebrows arched and piercing eyes,
"As best you can, explain to me,
The malady which you surmise.”
I swallow back my choking fears,
Not quite prepared to shed my pride,
But soon I'm mixing words with tears,
Revealing secrets locked inside.
"A fearsome beast within my chest,
Has plagued me since my boyhood past;
Although I strive to do my best,
I fear my strength is fading fast.
"At its command my temper soars,
And mindless brawling oft ensues,
From my own tongue the monster roars,
With blasphemies I can’t refuse.
"Its breath is flaming through my soul,
To scorch my faith with fervent lies;
Please help! before I lose control,
And thus become what I despise!"
The Nurse appears to understand,
What evil spawns my hellish plight;
She lays a reassuring hand,
Upon my own and squeezes tight.
"You suffer from an ancient shame,
Which spreads to rip mankind apart,
It's called Dracardia by name—
Translated: Dragon of the Heart.
"In newborn hearts upon this earth,
Lurk dragonwogs not yet empowered,
They snap and snarl from day of birth,
'Till all, save one, have been devoured.
"The final dragon grows in length,
With twisting coils like iron chains,
And feeds upon all righteous strength,
Until no shred of faith remains."
"Then I am doomed!" I wail aloud,
"I have no choice than be enslaved!
If this is true what you've avowed,
Then who among us might be saved?"
"Don't give up hope," the Nurse assures,
"I have Good News to share with you,
Our Doctor knows of dragon cures,
And He alone can pull you through."
She leads me through a heavy veil,
Of purple, blue, and scarlet red,
Into a room with no detail,
Or hint of what may lie ahead.
A single window, void of glass,
Stands overlooking dismal streets;
Through open doorways breezes pass,
To cool my doubts from past deceits.
No instruments or tools in sight,
Nor cupboards filled with labeled vials,
Just walls adorned in gleaming white,
And stacks of old discarded files.
Ablaze with light from every star,
The Doctor strolls into the room,
My eyes are blinded near to far,
Which leaves His visage to assume.
I sense His breath upon my face,
"Come out of him," the Doctor speaks,
But coils of sin resist His grace,
And from my heart the dragon shrieks.
With words far sharper than a blade,
He slices through the dragon’s guile,
And thwarts all efforts to evade,
Or slither deeper in denial.
Ignoring fangs and snapping jaws,
The Doctor grasps its scaly head,
Which earns attacks from thorny claws—
Upon each hand a splash of red.
In foul defeat, the dragon roars,
Protesting all divine restraint,
Then through the open window soars,
In search of newborn hearts to taint.
My files are thrown on those amassed,
The Doctor fades from mortal sight;
I leave The Clinic, free at last,
To walk forevermore in light.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
I don't usually like to leave even a tiny critique because sometimes others will focus only on that bit of suggestion.
But the last stanza threw me off somewhat. There is such a build up of sin and evil, and then such a short reference to The Power that sets free. And when he faded away it didn't seem to fit. I would have liked Victory to be the one left standing - Powerful and in sight for all to see.
And although I know it's true, (somewhat) the newborn refrence was sad. It would have helped the reader to read of a different target.
With so many reads and not any comments I just wanted to give my opinion since I liked this so much. Love, Pat
God has given you a gift of insight that can be used to lift up those who fear there is no way out. I pray you will use it to its full.
I'm speechless after reading another masterpiece---Congrats on another well-deserved win!