Best Viewed From Terra Firma | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Best Viewed From Terra Firma | Previous Challenge Entry
By Allison Egley
08/13/15
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As we drove over the bridge, I finally saw the famous structure towering over the surrounding landscape. It's the Jefferson Expansion Memorial, better known as the Gateway Arch. My kids have been begging me to see it ever since they saw pictures of it on TV, and since we only live a few hours away, I decided it was finally time.

Since we were going to make a weekend of it, we found our hotel, and took the light rail to the arch. We paid for our tickets, and explored the museum under the arch. I overheard a couple complaining about how outrageous it was that it was three dollars just to go to the museum part. They must be locals. I think they are used to free stuff, seeing as the zoo, science center and art museum are all free. And yes, we plan to hit those in the coming days, too. To me, however, three dollars is a bargain. Since we purchased tickets to ride to the top to the arch, our tickets were a bit more expensive.

After exploring the museum, we waited in line to get to the top of the arch. I soon discovered that I should have done a bit more research before ascending to the top of this mammoth. If you are claustrophobic, I suggest you stop reading now. I don't know what I imagined when I thought about going to the top of the arch. A giant elevator, and some stairs for the curvy part at the top, I suppose. But the thing that presented itself to us was no elevator. No, this was an egg. Certainly in shape, and in size it was not much larger than an ostrich egg. Imagine a phone booth. (If you are under the age of 30, you may have to ask an elder what this artifact is.) Now, cut its height in half. Form it into an egg shape, and you have a good idea about these pods that take you to the top. Now, add five seats, and five people. If you want to get to get really close to a stranger for an extended period of time and not be given really strange looks, this is probably your best bet.

Now if this contraption moved quickly and smoothly, I could perhaps have endured the claustrophobic conditions, but no. It moves slowly and it jerks. There is a reason my children take their grandma with them on roller coasters and not me. I get sick on the kiddy marry-go-round, where the horses don't even move up and down. When we finally got to the top, I wanted to kiss the ground. But the ground was approximately 630 feet below me. My knees buckled. My children, on the other hand, ran past me and plastered themselves against the tiny windows. I heard others complain about how small the windows were, but I didn't mind. It made it much easier to NOT look down. Wait. What was that? Did the arch just sway? Was that an earthquake? Was the sky getting dark? Was that lightning and a funnel cloud? I knew my imagination was running away, but here's the thing. Once it gets started, it doesn't stop. It has started the marathon and won't quit until it has run all 26.2 miles. I rounded up my kids, grumbling and complaining, and we got on the next tram down, me hyperventilating. I noticed the other people in the pod with us tried to get as far away from me as possible. Which wasn't very far. Remember the half-phone booth sized egg? Well, the tram going down the opposite leg wasn't any different. We finally got back down, and this time I literally kissed the ground, ignoring the even stranger looks from our fellow pod-mates.

"MMMMoooooooommmmmmmm! Why did we have to leave? I hardly got to see anything." My daughter crossed her arms and pouted.

For once, my son was supporting his sister. "Yeah. We were just starting to have fun."

I took a few seconds to regain a normal respiratory rate before answering. "Because this is no tourist attraction. This is a death trap!"

Now, don't get me wrong, I really do love the arch. The museum was certainly impressive. This is just my fair warning. It is not for those who are claustrophobic, or afraid of heights. And if both are true for you? Well, I strongly suggest you admire the arch from terra firma.

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