The Official Writing Challenge
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10/15/09
A heart-breaking, but very important reminder. Thank you! This is very well written.
Sad the reminder of an even sadder time, but the writing shines. I so wanted him to make it to freedom!
10/19/09
Riveting account of a sad and unjust time in history. The dialogue was authentic, the mood of panic towards the end had my heart racing, and I was hoping that freedom would come to these desperate people. Excellent writing!
10/19/09
My eyes are moist, and ny heart is sad. It's a shame that this kind of situation ever happened, and I hope that the lessons learned will never die. Good job.
10/20/09
Wow. Your dialect was great. It was very realistic and so sad.
10/21/09
Heartbreaking story, from a heartbreaking time in our history. You made your MC very real and sympathetic.

I had a tiny problem with the accent, which almost bordered on stereotype. I wonder if scaling it back just a tad would be both more realistic and easier on your readers.

Love your use of blue in both eyes and sky...quite lovely.
This held my attention throughout. It was bold and truthful. I like your MC's determination. Thumbs up.
10/21/09
You brought us a strong memory of a sorrowful time with realism and grace. The somewhat stereotypical dialog did bring more of that awful time to life, I think. A brave story.
10/21/09
This was a wonderfully touching story. I found myself really hoping that he escapes safely.
Woo Hoo! Look at you, sitting pretty in EC with this excellent story!
10/30/09
Wow! This deserves a win. I have read some "Freedom" stories, and this is just as good and suspensful as any stories that made it into a published book. Very good, Yvonne...Write more of this kind of story. Write more!...Helen