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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)
Ravens come

A piece of peace
separate, whole, a shelter.
Here is that healing calm
haven for the tormented tortured soul
an ointment on the wound
shade from stinging heat
and the quiet place.

The ravenous wind prowls outside
the quakes of life are just out of reach
and the glittering of storms do not penetrate.

Ravens come,
laden with their offerings of bread.

The journey to find this place
leaves littered baggage in its wake,
sprawling the used clothes
and worn shoes
battle wounded on the path.
Parting with unfriendly comfortable chains
sears with fear
stabs fingers in holed unhealed scars
grasps and releases nettled yesterdays.

Stabbed and bleeding,
naked, robbed, blinded
and accused
only here
the small voice is heard.

But this place is not the world,
nor is this place home,
this place is not tomorrow
but a shelter in today.

Ravens come,
laden with their offerings of bread.
We’ll be back.
Say the ravens.

I’ll be here.
Says the small, refreshing, voice.
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This article has been read 1239 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
david grant
06/08/06
Loved it. Terrific imagry. Looks like a winner to me.
George Parler 
06/09/06
I'm not familiar with the structure but then I'm green at this. But the imagery is awesome. Great use of words. Good job!
Marilyn Schnepp 
06/12/06
A great job here! I loved it. Breathtaking and beautifully done.
Helen Paynter
06/12/06
I liked this. YOu probably realise it, but this is not at all an easy read - the reader has to work quite hard to suck out the marrow. Fine, as long as that is the effect you want!
My favourite line:
'grasps and releases nettled yesterdays.'
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
06/13/06
You painted a masterpiece with words. Good job.
dub W
06/14/06
Good imagery. You started with some great alliteration (sounds). It worked well in the opening, I personally would have enjoyed a continuation; but none-the-less, the beat was wonderful.