The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/08/13
Sad enough reading such hateful behavior in a fictional character , but to know this “Katie” person was real...well...all I can say is thank God she was exposed, before she cost someone innocent their job! Your story shows how important character is, and in this case contributed greatly to who was believed. I’d say it fit the topic fine, as the story was based on a conversation by the staff, at a staff meeting. It is always a good ending to a story when justice prevails. And one can only leave the story hoping and praying that Katie learned her lesson and changed for the better. Enjoyed the read.
02/08/13
Wow, this reads like a daytime soap opera! How sad that Katie couldn't see the value in the other woman's friendship/loyalty. It's wonderful that the Lord saw to it that the right person lost their job...or, at least, had the opportunity to account for the bad behavior. Thanks for sharing this real-life story with us!
I think you did a splendid job on this intriguing tale. The beginning was a great hook and I could feel the conflict immediately. You did a great jobof showing the characters' personalities.

I did notice a tiny POV shift when you mentioned that the staff were wondering about the meeting. Since this is told through Lisa's POV, the reader can't know what other characters are thinking. You could show that one person furrowed her brow and another nibbled on her fingernails which would show they were worried.

I really enjoyed the twist at the end. Seldom do I get surprised by an ending, so it was a delight to read it. Having work as a registered nurse, I felt the pain of the staff. It's hard when someone above us is doing something wrong. I think this is a great message and a wonderful take on the topic.
02/10/13
How many times do we jump to conclusions without knowing all the facts? Great story, great moral lesson. I loved it.
02/12/13
How unfortunate that this reflects the reality of an actual staff--it's heartbreaking.

I was left confused--had Joanna actually been sleeping, or was Katie lying about that because Joanna knew her own secret? And several mechanics errors distracted me as I read.

Your characters are drawn realistically and they each evoke the appropriate emotional reaction from your readers--this was the strength of this story, which left me both indignant and satisfied.
02/19/13
I love the pun in your title. The urgency of getting to the truth came through loud and clear. I was fascinated.